Invisible Illness
I'm posting thisunder "Depression", because any mental illness is also an invisible illness. Invisible illness is any illness or disability that is not immediately apparent. Ittends to create situationswhere people lack sympathy or understanding for a person suffering from any of those. Also, it is a topic that's not brought up very frequently.
In my case, my invisible illness is migraine. In the migraine community, we use a term - "brave face" - that describes the face we put on, when we're in immense pain, but have to carry on as normal. Oftentimes, people make comments such as "You don't look sick!", which can be incredibly hurtful. I've been accused of faking, shirking my responsibilities,being lazy, and many other things.All because my illness has no physical signs. (Well until I start to throw up, then people start to believe me.)
Is there anyone else suffering from an invisible illness? How do you deal with it? Do you have any tips? Please, come to this thread for support and sympatheticears :)
Address the physical, mental, emotional, a spiritual parts of self.
I suffer from fibromyalgia, and it's similarly frustrating due to the "you don't look sick!" phenomena and it's unwarranted reputation in the medical field as a "garbage can" diagnosis.
It's one thing to have ignorant strangers doubt you're in pain; it's another when smart people (not the doctors who are treating me, thankfully) don't believe your condition is real.
The most helpful thing for me has been this; focus on what you are doing.
Thinking about everything you want to do, but can't, due to your condition, is depressing and frustrating.
It's been hard for me, but thinking about things I can do really helps; I am still holding down a full-time job, I got the laundry done on Monday, did the dishes Tuesday - things like that.
Having a list of accomplishments - rather than a list of things you can't do - can be really uplifting.
I know exactly what you mean about even doctors not believing you. I've met a few neurologists who told me to take over the counter painkillers for my migraines and get over it. That can really hurt. And your way at looking at things is absolutely amazing! What a great positive outlook to have. Those are definitely great accomplishments which I'm sure you're incredibly proud of (as you should be)! :)
Dealing with invisible illness (migraines in my case as well) is a very difficult thing to go through. I've been accused of "faking" and "laziness" my whole life, but really a migraine is all it takes to throw me out of commission for an undeterminable amount of time. When someone really doesn't understand, really outright refuses to, I generally try to walk them through it. It goes something like this:
Imagine you go to bed feeling fine, maybe even great. You've had a good day, accomplished a lot, and had good times with good people. You get into bed and lay down for a good night's sleep before work in the morning. Somewhere around 4:00am you wake up and feel like your head's been split in two, and can barely get back to sleep. 5:30am, the sun is pouring in through the window and the light makes you want to scream, but you know you have to get some sleep before work. 7:00am you get up and get ready for work, trying to make yourself look like everything is fine and normal, but you actually feel like a half-deflated balloon animal. You get to work late because you need extra time in the morning, and your boss yells at you because it's the third time this month; the volume of the sound makes you nauseous, the stress makes it worse. You barely slog through your work while pounding coffee all day, wondering if you're going to lose your job, and when it comes time to go home you haven't finished your work. Now: do you take it home? Or do you stay late? Or do you give up and hope you can work it all out the next day? People ask if you want to go out with everyone from work for dinner somewhere, and you have to say no because you both don't feel good and need to finish some things up. Driving makes your head spin - the lights, the sound, the stop and go jerks. You get home and realize 'I have to eat something' but don't have the energy to cook or the interest in food. Most people would be relaxing now, sitting down to watch TV or surf the internet. You go to your room and shut the door, turn off all the lights and unplug any electronics that might make that shrill sound of electricity any louder. Under the covers, you curl up in a ball and try to sleep, because at least when you're asleep you don't notice how bad you feel. You wake up at 3:30am and can't get back to sleep, so you try to get something done. Nothing goes right. This is how every day of the week might go. You don't know if the next day will be better, worse, or the same.
That usually helps people understand. Some will say "it can't be that bad" and wander off. They are usually not worth dealing with.
That's a great way to explain migraines to others! I might start using something similar, thank you so much for sharing :)
You've captured my work experience almost exactly. It's especially frustrating when you can't concentrate on work tasks, so you feel like you're in a lose-lose situation (absenteeism or presenteeism).
I wish I had a forcasting device, for pain and migraines instead of weather, so I'd know in advance when it's going to be really bad and plan around that.
Wow! I never knew about this kind of problem before. Thanks for sharing. People like us who are not aware of such things can be quite insensitive towards people who are carrying such problem. Take care of yourself. My best wishes.
That's very nice of you to say, glad you're so open-minded! :)
Glad you brought up this topic. All of my illnesses are invisbile: migraines, depression and ptsd. So when I dont do well in classes or an exam I am at a loss as to what to tell my professor because I look fine. Well, not speaking up has earned me an extra semester staying back to finish my studies. Now I am so close to moving on to the working world I am afraid my disabilities would get in the way of my performance and I will not be able to get accommodations because all the sickness is literally "in my head".
Thank you so much for sharing! I can relate to your worries about going into the work force, as I'm in a similar situation. It is indeed pretty scary.
This is such an important thing to remember. Not all illnesses can be seen or really understood right away. I know people with physical illnesses that are invisible and mental illnesses that are invisible. On the outside you may look fine, but on the inside everything can be crumbling to pieces. Let's remember and advocate for ourselves because sometimes people just don't see it. #fighttheinvisible