It's over

My life has gone all-tits up. After realising things with the guy I like changed, I asked what was wrong. Apparently, I'm always depressed, basically a kill-joy. Along with continually apologising. It was the thing that set me off. I went out, with my eyes red, and me looking a complete mess and bought several boxes of paracetamol and ibuprofen, and vodka, in order to kill myself.

I didn't take them obviously, but I'm keeping them. It was the thing that just made me crack. I don't enjoy being this depressed constantly, how someone I could like as much as him could be so horrible just crushed me. Now I'm going to wait and see how I feel, then decide what to do, but I'm not ruling out taking all the tablets I have.

I could really do with some advice please?