My Depression Diary
It occurred to me that maybe I should just sort of jot down my thoughts and feelings about depression. For me, since I haven't met many people on 7Cups who seem to be depressed about the same things I am. But maybe others can relate.
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I don't want to live in this world. For the record, this does not mean I have intentions to s/h.
The world has grown too small and I don't like it. There are too many voices and I don't like them.
I want to be part of building something new, but flawed beings can't build flawless worlds.
We can't escape the cycles of our history and we won't be able to escape the catastrophe that climate change is bringing us.
That's why I'm depressed.
@hematite43 Agree in part
I don't want to live in this world. True. This world has changed significantly and I wish it were like it used to be.
The world has grown too small and I don't like it. There are too many voices and I don't like them. True it seems more crowded. Too many voices? You probably don’t have to listen to them all the time.
I want to be part of building something new, but flawed beings can't build flawless worlds. This is serious cognitive overreach. Perhaps get a PhD in philosophy so you can explain to us what a flawless world with flawless beings would look like.
We can't escape the cycles of our history and we won't be able to escape the catastrophe that climate change is bringing us. I find this particularly interesting. We do seem to be caught in an unpleasant phase in the cycle of history and it feels a bit overwhelming. I would argue that perhaps some things improve while other unpleasant things seem to cycle back without leaving. Now climate change may indeed be inescapable, but it isn’t (and by no means do I mean to make light of climate change), isn’t the only thing that is inescapable. Our individual life will end. Perhaps, and very likely we will find a way to live 5 times longer, but for you and I, we will probably not significantly exceed this 100 year or so limit. So the question regarding depression may be turned on it’s head by acknowledging the limits in front of us.
The question is, do you really want to be happy? Do you really want to be rid of depression? Would you be willing to modify your ideas about the world and it’s limits, human kind’s limits, your limits, for something that sounds reasonable to you, but that still acknowledges that things kind of suck, but that ultimately reduce your depression? If so, you might want to listen to the following 20 minute video by Dr. David Burns regarding depression.
One of the frustrations I have with talking about the depression (and anxiety) that I experience is the tendency of most people to immediately start proposing solutions. Even to the point of interrupting me while I'm talking about how I feel.
I get that people want to be helpful. Or at least feel like they're being helpful. Even if they're not actually being helpful.
Another frustration I have is how dismissive people (and society) can be of depression and anxiety, though I think this is better than it used to be.
I was going to post more this evening, but my attention span is kind of fractured at the moment.
I think both the things that you have put here are quite legitimate and I do feel them often. Sometimes you just have to be in the depression to not suggest ways of getting out. Depression doesn't work like other illnesses.
As far as humankind's flaws, you are also quite right. They aren't something we can overcome. But I do believe that history has shown that we can work through something. Perfection isn't out there, but better is. @hematite43
I've been thinking of making a new post here for the past couple of days, but then I woke up this morning even more depressed.
I'm just sick of it all. I go back to work on Monday after a long weekend and I'm dreading it. I'm sick of everyone's ***. Sick. of. it.
I hate that summer is coming. I hate the summer.
I'm am so irritable and angry and the only way I was able to find this stupid thread is that someone had liked it and I had erased that notification. The stupid search function was absolutely no help. You'd think that as the internet advances we could have better search features on websites, but the opposite is often true.
I haven't been this enraged in a long time.
Depression can make you so angry. It is really, really frustrating, especially when you don't feel like you are making progress.
Sending lots of peace. What makes the summer particularly hard for you? @hematite43
