My daily journey - 12/15/20

A Journal of my Journey: 12-15-20

I decided the best way to help myself “getting it off my chest” was to go back to something that worked before. A journal. I also thought that sharing it here might benefit others (along with myself). If no one reads these posts, that’s fine. If no one comments on them, I’m cool with that too. But I’m pretty sure sharing will help me and maybe for someone else they will realize someone else has similar issues.

Today for me started good. No anxiety and looking forward to work. The day was moving along ok, until one of my toxic coworkers decided to have their weekly tantrums. Having to interact with someone who gives one word answers or shouts back to figure it out yourself (when it’s their job) just drained me.

The anxiety started and I started having trouble focusing. Muscles got tight. Sweat starts rolling. And I seriously started to consider going home. And of course, the thoughts start. “What is he mad about? Is it something I did?”

This turns to anger. “I’m sick of walking on eggshells around here. If he hates it so much, then he needs to stop threatening to quit and just do it.”

Then back to anxiety. “If he quits I’ll have to do both our jobs. I really don’t want to have to hire and train a new person.”

Even getting a Christmas bonus from my boss barely phased me.

Home….trying to relax (but still wound up) and hoping my son will text me just to say “Hi.”

And hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Sparky