My dream

@understandingTown3641

Praying is for talking to god, posting is for talking to people who WILL actually listen and reply, real people who see you and know what you're going through.

I've been there. I was close once to giving up the ghost. But I must have realized it wasn't worth it. It was a long time ago, I don't remember what stopped me, it might have been simple cowardice or just realizing that I preferred to fix the problem, end the relationship and move on. If I had taken that handful of muscle relaxers over ten years ago, I wouldn't have the amazing husband and life that I have now. I would have missed out on a lot.

Just remember what J.R.R. Tolkien wrote - "Despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt." None of us can see the end, so please don't despair. It is not for you to have. Your dreams are for you to have. Get them back, you can do it. Dream new dreams and then make them your reason for living. It can be done, I promise you. I've been at some of the lowest points, but I got through them and now my husband (who also struggled with such thoughts and desires at one point) and I are both happier than we ever have been in our lives.

Don't give up.

@understandingTown3641

Hey, I am sorry to hear what you are going through. I too have problems dreaming about positive things as I have really bad insomnia now days and struggle to see the positive side in many things. It can be very draining and tiering. I used to dream about nice things and talk to people about them. I understand it is a struggle and it can be very hard especially when you are suffering depression. You just have to keep strong and keep trying. Just remember that you are Wonderful and special.