Need Help From My Own Torture!!!
Im16 and i have only one older brotherthats20 right now. My brother has been bullying me since i was 12. I have to do everything he says and if i refuse or do something wrong,he would beat me up or yell at me. My parents sees it happening but theydontever care because they're too busy arguing to each other about ourpoverty issues. Plus my parents could only tell my brother to stop bullying me as a punishment so they cantrllyhelp much. Onjanuaryi got rejected by my crush andthatswhen i started having depression and suicidal thoughts. If my family finds out, they would only panic making everything worst and not even be able to help at all. I talked to my friends about my depression but i just endedup complaining so much that all my friends just decided to leave me. My brother once found out i was suicidal and depressed and pretty much found out about metalking to a strangeronline on my email that was trying to help me. When he did find out, he first beat me up because i said he's a bully and then he laughed and said "if u wanna die so bad, then go ahead and die. Nobody would care anyways." And the sad part is that it's all true. Ever since i got rejected by my crush, shes been ignoring me so we stopped talking to each other since June. Now all i get from her is seeing her kissing her new bf at school everyday and from her posts. I never called the hotlines because ik i would never have the guts to kill mysellf and idk any councelors besides my school's one but she's really mean. Ever night i have to cry myself to sleep and i would always wake up at least 2-3 times per night each time just to cry some more. Idk what to do anymore... I just wish i was dead...
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Oh darling, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through some terrible times, but trust me when I say this, they do get better. I know how it feels like to be bullied by an older brother. Mine used to beat me up, curse and yell at me, and told me to go die as well (basically every other day). I know the feeling of my parents knowing what's going on and not stopping it. I know what you are going through, and I know it is difficult, but we can get through it and we will. I am sorry to hear your friends didn't sick around, but that could be because they don't know how to handle the situation. Don't take it to heart darling, we are all still here for you. Older siblings can definitely be tough and they feel like they need someone to control. They can't control anyone older than them and I'd assume your sibling is bigger than you. It is tough and you have to be willing to change it. Also, there are many psychiatrists/therapists you can go see as well. Take the time to speak to your family doctor and see what they have to say. Sometimes it's even covered! If you ever want to talk to someone, know that I'll be here for you. Sending lots of love and hugs your way!
*hugs*for you dear..I am sure as the time will go by..everything will be good..I feel for you..if you wanna talk about it one on one..feel free to PM me...keep smiling always.😄😄😄😄
I'm sorry about the circumstances. The world can sometimes be trying at times... *hugs*. Well I am going to give you some advice but you must understand that advice is optional the way you ponder and usethis is totally up to you, okay? I would like to start to say that even though times are tough, you have a whole life to make them better. It's seem extremely clichbut it's the honest truth. It's hard to make a comeback from rejection, and when your crush finds another it may seem ten times worse. Perhaps, they don't ever work out for you,me and many others is because there is a grandscheme for our lives manifold into something greater. We don't know what other people want, so perhaps the connection was only one way. In that case you should focus on someone who appreciates you. I'm not going to begin to comprehend why your brother beats on you but if you can't tell a trusted adult or your parents the best idea is to avoid him as much as possible till you grow up because these things mostly stop into adulthood because you can stop them yourself. Your old friends probably didn't understand your full circumstances and that's why they left. There's really nothing you can do but make new ones. I wish you the best and truly hope your life gets better! The sooner the better :)....Please Take Care
Wish i could help some how...we are so many with such a huge weight on our shoulders. :((