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New here- story about my depression

User Profile: spreadkindnessxo
spreadkindnessxo May 10th, 2020

I am really struggling emotionally and would love some support/ advice.

I was in a 3 year relationship that ended abruptly (not my doing) back in Oct. 2019. Even though it has been approx. 7 months, I am no where near the start of healing stage. I miss him so bad. The emptiness in my soul & sadness that I feel are so powerful & nearly crippling at times.

You see- my ex struggles with addiction. I was there for him through some of the most trying times in his life & never judged him/thought less of him because of the demons he battles. I love him unconditionally & truly gave all of myself to this guy. We talked about a future- kids, marriage, living together. How does all of that just Change at the drop of a hat? How do you go from telling someone that they are ur "angel" & to never leave u, to blocking them everywhere, walking away from a long term relationship & cutting all ties? I cannot wrap my head around it. Then to not give someone the proper closure that they deserve after 3 yrs?

This breakup has left me broken, questioning myself, love, wondering how someone who made it seem like they really cared & loved me, could just betray me and hurt me so badly. I will never be the same. 😢

I am not sure if my ex might have relapsed & that's why he got rid of me, but I can say he was acting very manic and erratic after the breakup & did have pos. Drug test for thc. All I was trying to do was support/ help him live a healthy & sober life, but yet I'm being told I am "toxic"

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User Profile: Eva4061
Eva4061 May 10th, 2020

@spreadkindnessxo for your sanity: realise that this person obviously can't control his impulses/emotions just be logical and fair to yourself and simpy trust yourself not what he tells you, bruh i hope you realise you shouldn't be hurting at all, you griefed for him, good now it's not your business if he can't help himself. It's not cruel to think like this, just be logical my friend

2 replies
User Profile: spreadkindnessxo
spreadkindnessxo OP May 10th, 2020

@bestCity4061 i want him back though:(

1 reply
User Profile: Eva4061
Eva4061 May 11th, 2020

@spreadkindnessxo ah yes the good times, well your job to do what you want if you suffer though... U choose

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User Profile: RealityCzech
RealityCzech May 11th, 2020

A question if I may. Sit somewhere quiet and ask yourself honestly. What do you miss? Not necessarily the things about him you miss. What did this relationship satisfy in you that you miss. Motives are important. Let me show you.

I walked to the store to get milk.

The motive is straight forward yes? I need milk. Why did I walk though. 1) I don't own a car. 2) I want to save has money. 3) I don't want to pollute. Vastly different motives. Now apply this to your situation.

You want him back because you miss him. Now ask why? Is it him you miss? Is it the relationship you miss? Or is it YOU in that relationship you miss?

Please reply here if I can help.

2 replies
User Profile: spreadkindnessxo
spreadkindnessxo OP May 12th, 2020

@RealityCzech thanks for your response. Many people have asked me this question and it is him i miss. Specifically him :( what can i do?

1 reply
User Profile: RealityCzech
RealityCzech May 12th, 2020

@spreadkindnessxo

I understand you have this pain and desire. I've been left also.Tell me about him! What do you miss?

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