Not Sure how to cope...
My life has never been easy. From as far back as I remember its been one struggle after another. I've tried many times to end my life, but I don't like pain so I can never seem to go through with it. A year ago, my friend killed herself, I was SO Jealous. How could she do it and not me? Lately it's gotten worse, as I grow older all I do is push people away. I'm rude. Stubborn. I'm never happy and I cause people around me to feel the same unhappiness. I'm in a relationship with this WONDERFUL guy who loves me and I love him, but I ruin it. We always talk about our future and marriage, but I can't picture a future. I've always assumed I wouldn't have one because ill just kill myself the first chance I get. I feel so.. Pointless. A waste of space. I can't even picture a time when I was ACTUALLY happy. I've faked it for so long I don't know how to stop. I know I need help, but I dont know how to get it.. I dont even know how to talk to anyone.. I dont know what to do..
your not alone everyone in some stage in their life's have thought about suicide i've thought about it what helps me is to just go for a long walk or talk to someone if you ever need a chat i'm here 24/7 here to help
Hi there, I am so sorry to hear that you aren't feeling great. Your life is worth staying alive, your future is worth staying alive, you are worth staying alive.
For your suicidal thoughts, I would encourage you to call 1-800-273-8255 or go to suicide.org as soon as you can. They'll be able to help better than we can.
Philosophical, you said you have a wonderful man that loves you, so I would think he doesnt think youre worthless. So that makes two people who dont think youre worthless because, even though I dont know you, I dont think youre worthless. Im sure there are others who feel the same way.
