OPEN DISCUSSION- Hiding Your Depression, and Why It's So Frustrating
Hey Guys! I've been through Depression before, and for me one of the most frustrating aspects of Depression was the fact that my depression was so easy to hide. I was as bubbly as ever around my family and friends, and the depressed person underneath that facade seemed untraceable in public settings. I couldn't cry for help- all my cries were muted by fake laughs and dismissed with small talk. As a result, I felt alone in hiding my depression until I joined this site as a Member and realised that i wasn't alone- I was far from alone. I thought I'd make this thread to discuss the tiny frustrations that come with hiding your Depression from other people. Feel free to share whatever your thoughts may be on this, ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT 
As Always, I'm Just A PM Away 
I always seem to hide my depression behind Smiles and Laughter also when around my Family and friends, its like a mask that always comes on even when I don't want it too. I don't know maybe it's because I don't want to bother the people around me but most of the time when I'm alone I just wish I could share with the people close to me.
You may feel lonely but you'll NEVER be alone. Its very frustrating when you need to hide your depression, I know. Many people can identify and as a community we are all here for you
I'm always there for everyone I can tell if there felling sad and I help them but if I sad I can't show it because no one would understand or care
@Redjellybeans i get your frustration- always feel free to vent on our site. Thank you for sharing, you sound like a very empathetic person
hello, my name is felicia and i have been doing the same thing. when i'm at home with the kids, i'm just all smiles but then i will go in my room and just lay across the bed and cry or go in my bathroom and just sit there. When ever me and my husband go places i'm constantly watching to see if he is looking at other women, and in my mind i'm saying "she looks a lot better than me so why wouldn't he be looking at her." why do i do that? why is my self esteem so low?
@feliciap your self doubt seems to be at a high, and let me tell you from the bottom of my heart that I wish you'd be kinder to yourself. You deserve it.
it's frustrating because you know you don't feel stuff like others do, you know you can be hurt really easily and when it happens you don't know what to do, you often need to go to some places where you can cry and people find that weird like "why and where is she going all the time".. and i hate it, i hate it from the deepest places of my heart because it's ruining not only my social but life in general.
@FuturePhsycologist2 *bear hugs* that frustration seems so identifiable for many people on this site. We're all here for you. Thanks for sharing!
What's most frustrating for me, is the people around me (SO, roommate) tell me to simply snap out of it and be happy. They say it's my fault I'm sad.
Reasoning with them that it isn't in my control is like talking to a wall.
@Smallcup7 yeah, unfortunately many people don't realise that depression can't just be cured by 'feeling less sad" i guess non-sufferers don't ever really understand how uncontrollable these emotions an be.... I'm here for you *hug*
Thank you ❤️❤️
@Smallcup7 its my pleasure 
Hello I go by A, I've been depressed for just over a year now, I was in denial for a long time up until about six months ago and it really did feel like everything changed. To say the least it's tough, no one really knows and as much as I wish I could tell people there's no one I really want to trust this with. I am of 16 years of age, yes I know that's "too young to be depressed" but I am. I've gained a passive death wish and it just seems that all the things I have to look forward to, are things I don't want to have time for. Thank you for your time.
@Mayhaps I remember thinking iwas too young to be depressed when I was 14. The truth is that depression is not age exclusive. Thank you so much for sharing your intense emotions it takes courage. I'll always be here to talk
Thanks I really appreciate that, and I offer the same to you.
I try to always appear happy around my kids. Sometimes I fail, but I try. They're only 7 and 10 and I don't want them to be sad or worried seeing me sad or crying.
Sometimes I fake being okay with my husband... But that's mostly by saying nothing at all, not by putting on a happy act. He tries to understand, and I think he does, as well as someone who doesn't have depression can. But I hate to always go to him when I'm down... He's been really supportive lately but I know sometimes he needs a break so I give it to him. I don't want to be a burden... I end up feeling guilty which makes me sad... Aaaaand I'm in the vicious circle again.
The worst, though, is faking it with my mom and sisters. They are pretty much in the "snap out of it" camp, and I'm tired of trying to get them to accept that my depression and anxiety are diagnosed medical conditions... not a bad mood. So I fake happy. But after the most recent family gathering, my husband told me I was a bit snippy pretty much the whole time we were there. I had no idea until he told me...! Clearly, faking it takes its toll.
I don't love my depressed self... (I don't think I love myself... period.) But I definitely do not love my fake self.
@oatmealcookie I'm very sorry to hear that you don't love yourself, because you seem like a genuinely awesome person. Thanks for sharing. It hink its so selfless of you to put on a brave face in front of your kids, by the way. Stay strong, sending loads of love your way!
I hide my depression because none of my friends would understand if I tell them I have this issue. In fact I think only two of them knows about it. Another of my friends said: "You have a lot of things, you have friends. There's no reason to be sad!" when I actually did mention depression to them.
I've been struggling with depression for awhile now but recently it's gotten worse. I'm most frustrated at the fact that my family won't be able to understand me even if I do tell them about it. I don't think they will understand me they have already labeled my grandpa selfish and inconsiderate for isolating his self because of his depression after his battle with cancer. I have no reason to be depressed unlike my grandpa who has recently been through hell. I think the most frustrating days of hiding my depression is when you are to tired to not show that your not depressed. On those bad days where I don't even want to interact with people My family usually teases me (tells me I'm a grouch or something of that sorts) and tells me just how awful I am as a sister daughter and student. I think there teasing is there way of showing love but it hurts a lot and it's tiring when I try my hardest to please them with my grades and my actions and they still think that I'm an awful person.
Same here. I fake smiles and laughter too. Sort of like being on auto-pilot, just reacting based on social norms.
Sometimes, I think the deep sadness hides from me, too. Whenever I try to catch it when writing on my journal, it goes away leaving me with a blank feeling and a blank journal entry.