One thing I feel sad about right now is....
I feel empty.
Finally saying enough to my soulmate!!!!
The uncertainty of not knowing what I want, whether that is in life or just to be happy in general.
One thing I feel sad about right now is about how people can be so cruel,like there are people who bully and torture and make fun of other people and force them to go through unnecessary pain and hardships just to make themselves feel better or superior.Because of these people,some people have been driven to suicide or self-harm and depression and it's really sad :"(
Today my co worker is talking about her and her boyfriend's Xmas plans. It got envious. Jealous. For a moment a regretted ... I wonder if I did the right thing ?
I've convinced myself my friends dislike me and only interact with me because they feel like they have to
@smelborp Ive been going through the same but sometimes its only in our heads. Its not true. Our depression has a way of exaggerate little things into situations bigger than they actually are. So take it easy!
@hibsta I'm pretty sure it's just in my head... I wanna ask them but I don't want to guilt them into it. I'm already annoying enough with my rants, tho I barely ever rant to them anymore because I'm afraid they'll just tire of me completely and remove me from our group chat.
They usually don't reply anyway, but I think that's just bc it's hard to know how to respond and stuff, but I still just. I feel like they reply a lot more to the others in the chat and it's basically my only chat and the only social interaction I have in the day.... Sigh.
Depression makes me not care about anything, but then anxiety comes in to make me care about everything, and way too much, haha.
I'm sure we'll both come out ok on the other side, tho! In the words of naruto: believe it!
-Rant-
For five years now I have been completely uncapable of going to school because of my various diagnoses, but I never had the guts to just drop out. I guess I just feel like once I drop out, all hope really is lost. Tomorrow I have a meeting where I'll have to say whether I will drop out or continue high school and I pretty much have no other choice than to drop out. I can tell my parents are disappointed, so am I. All anyone ever tells me is that I was destined for greatness, but I've thrown it all away and I guess they expect me to argue against them, but I am fully aware that I'm a complete waste of space. I'm just tired of having to explain every single day why I can't function as a normal human being, when I don't really understand it myself. I have officially lost all interest in everything, including music, which used to be my "thing". Music would always put a smile on my face, but now I haven't touched an instrument in forever. Everyone keeps yelling at me, but no one understands that I already yell at myself all the damn time. Basically, I'm sad because I can still somewhat remember the bright little girl I used to be, and she's completely gone.
@whiteWalls3355 from what I
I could possibly loose my friends forever
I feel like a disappointment and do nothing to stop this freefall
not coping well with holiday triggers and letting memories overwhelm me this week
