On the edge of something

Things have been relatively good lately...

But i can feel myself being weighed down. It takes more effort to get out of bed, do things in general.

For this first time in a long time, I had this overwhelming feeling to feel something other than the whirlwind in my head. I looked towards the old habbits of self harm and had to quickly distract myself. But i know these thoughts are there. The lsst time i went down thing path i was in a bad place.

I dont want to be there again but i cant seem to stoo these feelings taking over. It scares me but i dont feel like i have the energy to really stop it. Especially when I am everyone elses go to for help and advise, i dont really have time for feeling like this...