Overdosed before? [Trigger Warning]

Has anyone ever overdosed before? To a point where you needed to be hospitalized or placed into the Psychiatric Ward?

It happened to me about five years ago. I was in the ER for like 3 days, 2 nights. Constantly having a security guard at the foot of my bed, in case I self harm. Then, I was moved to the general ward, where there's like other patients for another day. Before they moved me into the Psychiatric Ward for 2 days. Then, they handed me over to the outpatients for Psychiatric/Psychologic care centre within the hospital. I had to join a program where they have someone come to my house once a week to check on my mood and teaching me ways to cope with it. After a month, they signed me up for a program held at the hospital once a week with other people also suffering from depression or bipolar. It was called the CORE program. With about 30 people, and each class had about 2-3 therapists. That program went on for 3 months. Then, we graduated from it. I made a few good friends there. But, since I've moved out of that city, I don't see them much. But one lady is on my speed dial as an emergency friend. After those 3 months, they had another program called Psychodynamics. Only 3 of us from the CORE program applied to this one. This time, it was of a small group, about only 10-12 people. Also meeting once a week, it was a lot more intense. It was led by a Psychiatrist and his assistant. They really dug deep into our wounds, trying to find the origin of it. Near the end, a few people, you can really see the change in them. As for others that still couldn't step out of their shell, they are still stuck and suffering. I think I was 50/50 by the end of that program.

Now, with not much support in my everyday life, it has gone downhill a bit for me again over those 5 years since the OD incident. It became worse during the past year, because I tried maybe 3 times of some minor OD attempts. And there were times where I couldn't work and other times where I tried to get myself sick or tire myself out by walking around all over where I live for hours and hours. Hoping that I would collaspe or faint somewhere by the road, and having others discovering me much later.

For my OD attempt 5 years ago, I remembered exactly what I had did. And I was in the ER for so long because I had a fever they had to subside and because the creatinine levels were exceeding normal amount of 10x more.

Sometimes, I don't know if having a good memory of incidents is good or not. I remember everything that happened to me, traumas and all, even nightmares, very clearly. When you can remember them so cleary, when other tell you to try and let it go, it makes it that much harder. How and I suppose to erase it from my memory? Unless I get brainwashed or maybe using hypnotizing to help me forget and let go. Or else, everything that has happened will always seem like it happened to me yesterday.

This is also why that when I've had unpleasant encounters with people, even if it happened 3 years ago, I cannot let go of the grudge I have against that person. I can't get rid of that hard feeling and it seems like I will never be able to get along with that person in the future either.

Anyways, I think I've said a lot already!~