Recovery
Recovery. Strange word isn't it? I've heard it so much in my life yet I still don't know when the recovery stage actually begins.
At what point are you going through recovery?
What does it mean to go through recovery?
Today I received encouragement for my road to recovery but I don't feel as if I am recovering. Everything feels the same. I don't feel as if anything is different really.
I guess I don't really understand what it means to be going through recovery and how it should make me feel.
I don't feel as if I've reached that point yet but how would I know in the first place?
@discreetAcres6234
I hear what you're saying here and, no, there is no specific point where you can say that you're in recovery. Often, it's not until you're well down the road and you're reflecting that you recognise that you're recovering.
When I look back at my experiences of depression, I like to think of it like a road that I was driving along through the hills. Sometimes I was going down and sometimes I was going up but the winding nature of the road left me unaware of whether I was actually going uphill or downhill.
I guess at the end of the day, if you're receiving encouragement on your road to recovery, take it as it is. You may indeed be on the road to recovery but just haven't journeyed far enough along that road to realise it yet.
Good luck!
@Roadie I definitely know what you mean by ups and downs. I have my days where I feel on top of the world and then all of a sudden I'm in a black hole again and nothing feels good.
i have no idea where I am in my journey right now. I don't think I'm in the recovery stage but I might be close to getting there. I still have a lot of past to confront and get out of my system
@discreetAcres6234
Do you know what? That sounds incredibly promising, it really does. Because no matter what you're recovering from there will always be ups and downs. Some days you'll feel behind the eight-ball and some days things will be a little easier.
Don't berate yourself too much if things aren't right on a particular day. It's just part of the process and, if we're honest with ourselves, it's just part of life. Eventually those "behind the 8-ball" days may get fewer and fewer in recovery. The funny thing that I found was that when they became fewer and fewer, I naturally stopped reflecting on the day's feelings.
It'll be interesting for your experiences in the days and months ahead.
@Roadie
I feel as if this is the first time I'm really looking back and analysing my past. It's a scary and emotional time but I guess it's what I need. I also feel like my highs and lows are different from normal. When I'm low I feel extremely low and when I'm on a high I feel like I'm on top of the world.
The process of recovery also scares me a bit. Not knowing what to expect is scary for me. I'm not sure I know who I am without my depression and anxiety, I worry about what life will be like when I don't feel them around anymore.
I'm curious to find out what recovery feels like. Will life feel easier for me? Will I find joy? Who will I become. I just hope that the outcome doesn't disappoint me
@discreetAcres6234
Yeah, I can understand that. Everyone goes through this experience differently. I experienced something similar with the highs and lows due to my medication at the time. If you're concerned then talk to your doctor.
With regards to the future, what will be will be. It's funny that for me, I didn't notice much of a difference in who I was, just the way in which I reacted to situations and how I could cope. Will the same be true for you? Possibly, but you won't know until you cross that bridge. While it's scary, it's also exciting in the same breath.
I know what you mean.
Recovery is like this dark and narrow tunnel. No windows, no mile markers, no landmarks. We're just walking and walking and have no way of knowing how far we've come. So even though our legs ache from the strain of walking for so long, it's still the same dense darkness on all sides. It can be very discouraging when we feel like we aren't seeing any significant progress. But that's when friends, a support system, and family come in handy. They're on the outside of the tunnel and are cheering us on, telling us we've come so, so far and to not give up. Promising us that the end of the tunnel is just around the corner. I think, for now, all we can do is listen to their cheers and take their word for it. We have to trust in our own two feet and trust in those who are cheering for us on the outside until we're able to come out the other end and see for ourselves how far we've come.
@ValentineLove such inspiring words. It's hard to not really understand the path you're on. I guess the journey I have begun will reveal the destination soon enough.
It's good to hear from you. You're always so insightful. All I can do is hope that progress is being made and I'm doing my best in order to help myself :)
@discreetAcres6234 As long as you're facing the right direction, you're okay. Just know that some days you'll have to take a break and sit down for awhile, but don't ever turn around. It's extremely difficult being asked to take a step when we can't see the rest of the stairway, but that's what recovery is. Just have to have faith in the ones who can see the stairway until we reach the top and are able to look down at how far we've come.
I think you are making amazing progress and I have a lot of hope for you. I have hope for all of us. We're here because we want a change. We'll make it through. :) And I think the view is going to be breathtaking.
@ValentineLove
I really hope the view will be as breathtaking as I imagine it to be. I really want change, no matter how much it frightens me. It has taken me a long time to get to a point where I can say that I don't deserve a lifetime of sadness. I actually believe it now, I deserve to feel happy and I will find my way to get it.
Although I can't see the steps I'm taking, I guess I have to trust myself and believe that I'm going somewhere great. The only one who can hold me back is me, I can't allow myself to do that anymore.