Recovery and My Story

Depression is like nothing I've ever experinced before. If I could describe it anyway it would be like drowning in an ocean. You fight and fight your way to the shore and when you're almost there you start drowning again. Your lungs fill up with water and your chest burns and you're constantly going through that over and over again. You drown all the way to the bottom of the ocean where it's dark and cold. It's where you go to die inside. Once you're there it feels impossible to get back. You sit there and cut and cry and Deam about dying to go to a better and happier place. You're at you're most vunerable there and I'm here to tell you things get better.
I have been there. I have lived in that dark dank place for many years. I have cut down there and cried and screamed to only have no one to understand or hear me. I have been there so many times, that I was gettitng used to it. I have also overcame that dark dank place. I have swam to the shore and I am now laying on the beach drinking my cocktails and smiling. Looking at the scars on my arm and learning from them.
Depression isn't easy. Its a bitch. That bitch will fuck you up. It will destory you inside and out, make you hate yourself and even everyone else. It will make you push everyone away without you even knowing and that the hardest part. You are pushing people away that you only want to get closer to and you dont even know. It wont last for weeks, or months, it'll last for years.
I'm here to tell you that it gets better. It truly does. The thing is, you cannot and I mean CANNOT depend on anyone else but yourself for true happiness. You need peope to be here for you, you need support and love, but you cant depend on that to make you happy. People let you down, they're not always gonna be here for you. You have to be there for yourself. I never knew what made me happy, especially when I started to get better. So you know what I did? I got closer with my friends, I started going out more and experiencing new things, I got a job. The most important thing I ever did was have a postive mind. Okay, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true. It's honestly crazy what being postive does for you, not only mentally and emotionanlly but physically.
It's not easy getting there. It's a battle. This whole process is a battle but you really need to have that motivation inside to wanna do better. No one can help you get better but yourself. For one you need to get rid of all the negitivity in your life. That is MUST, no matter how hard, you need to. After that, you are truly on your way to making it to that shore and drinking those cocktails with me. You realize everything you missed when you get rid of the bad negitivity. Are you going to be upset and mad and sad when you realize that? Oh yes you will, espcially if that is a person. Let me tell you this though, get all that anger out, say all you wanna say and than say goodbye. After you're done letting all that out you're going to feel amazing. Dont let that feeling make you want to let them come back, because trust me it's going to make you want that and you don't need that. GET RID OF ALL THE BAD NEGITIVITY. MAKE IT STAY AWAY.

Don't ever let things go unsaid. Say everything you need and want to. After that, you can look foward to a better life. It wont be fast, be paintent. Sit back and watch yourself grow and become a better happier person. I'm going throuhg that stage now and I love it. I am honesly so proud of myself for having the strength to move on and find a better me, for me. You never realize how strong you are until you overcome something so powerful. I never in a million years thought I'd every see myself happy again, never. Here I am though, striving to success.
You can do it. You can be happy again. Fuck all that negitivity in your life. You don't need it. You're so much stronger that you thinking, emotionally and mentally. Something I am figuring out, is after all the stuff I have been throuhg that has added and caused my sadness, it only made me stronger. Did I ever need that stuff in my life? No. You know what though, it made me a stronger and smarter person. No one truly understands depression but the person going through it. Ever situation is different, but everyone going through depression can get better. You really do have people there for you, I never realized it until I started to get better.
I wrote this because I need people to know they're not alone. There are so many other people drowning and sitting at the bottom of the sea too. I hope this helped you. I really do hope this made you smile. A smile is huge when it comes to depression and I want you know I believe in you. I know I don't know you or what you're going through but I know you can get better. I believe everyone can. I wish you the best of luck in life and with your struggle with depression!