Repeating the cycle
Maybe being a good person just isnt enough. Im new to the group and just wanted to share my reality with you guys. i havent quite been able to share my life with my friends and family out of pure embarrassment and disappointment so thanks for listening in advance. I am currently in a 10 year relationship with someone who has battled some form of mental illness undiagnosed (poor...no insurance....unaffordable) all of his life. We have a child who has suffered from the inconsistency and uncertainty we experience from him on a daily basis. I know i suffer from depression, but ive taught myself to get up even when i have to use every ounce of will power and strength i have left in me for the sake of our kid because im not sure if i could do it for just myself. After doing something completely out of the norm and me giving the ultimatum he is finally seeking help but i dont know how to be supportive especially when i have to take over fulltime parenting as well as working fulltime while fighting my own battles....i feel like im drowning and passing down these traits to our kid. Ive been toxic i know i have....ive been impatient and so caught up in saving my spouse ive forgotten to come up for air myself. Ive always given more to other than i have myself but for some reason i dont feel like im capable of giving my kid more and he/she does not deserve this....none of us do. Life to me feels like being awakened from a coma everyday without my permission.
@RationalOak434 I know the situation is difficult for you, but now you have to think about the sake of your children, just like Angelina Jolie did when she broke up from Brad Pitt because of his alcoholism. Some may see this as selfish, but the sake of the children should be put above that, and I think that you are in any case responsible for your children alone.