Seeking advice home/school
for the past 7 years of my life I have suffered from depression. I'm now 17. I live under a family that's toxic, went to a school were I was severely bullied, and now attend junior year in high school. I need some help.
I don't feel comfortable at school or home. I have absolutely no friends and I'm the class loser outta everyone. I hate school. It makes me depressed. I've never been able to make a single friend my entire life, the way I grew up with my parents affected that severely. If anyone messages me, or wishes to talk to me, they only want to copy my notes or homework. :( I am jealous of those around me, all happy and fortunate in their lives. And only to return home, an uncomfortable dreaded place I've been livening in. It's toxic. I'm almost graduating high school, but the problem is, there is no money for me to move out as soon as possible. I am stuck living with them,the two parents who should have never had kids in the first place. Until one day I can make enough money to go away. If I was born a guy, I would have lived on the streets instead, but born a 5 foot ugly girl doesn't help. It makes it worse. I just feel so heavy. So lonely. My mother doesn't love me, my father doesn't at all, especially him, the only thing those two ever do is buy basic necessities so that I won't die off and they be sent to jail or someshit but it is only an act of care not of love. Just as animals do for their young. They never wanted to have children. They've beaten me up before ever since I was a little girl. Both of them. They always make feel bad, belittling me because they don't think I'm good enough. Even though I'm a straight a student. But it looks like that's a buncha shit that doesn't count. They say I ruin their lives by existing, and I feel bad, guilty but there's nothing I can do about it. :( I can't kill my self because funerals cost money and I don't want my parents to "suffer" more because of me unless I can find a way, and it's not like I can "unborn" myself. It's been 7 years, each year it gets heavier and heavier as I get older. I don't know what to do. I'm so lonely. There's no where for me to go to get away from everything. I feel like I'm scarred. I'm tired that every single time I go back home from school, or every single Friday for the past 5-7 years I contemplate suicide. I'm so tired I hate school and home. Please give me advice. Maybe I've got more ahead of me being 17 but I feel like I'm so scarred from everything I've gone through. So detached. I can say 100% I hate life.
I forgot to mention that I also suffer from severe IBS which guess what: makes me even more suicidal and depressed. It's embarrassing...
so... Also.... Advice on that would be great. I can't afford a doctor though. Parents will not take me for sure
@placidLion9589 I have anxiety and excoriation disorder (SPD, Dermatillomania, you know) and I was wondering if we could be friends? I mean nobody should be embarrassed about depression. It's a serious subject. So um.. I'm new and. yeah.
I'm lonellllyyyyyyy
okay.. bye.
I don't think anyone's really said anything about IBS yet so let me try to give you some advice that helps for me. I don't know which kind of IBS you have, but if it's IBS-D then these might help:
Firstly, I take these probiotic supplements every morning and they're MAGIC. They honestly help with IBS so much. They're called Pro-X10, the brand is Biotrust. You can buy them online. But I'm sure there are also many probiotics in drug stores/health food stores that would work as well.
Secondly, paying super close attention to what you eat and when you eat is important, and it took me a long time to figure out what the worst foods for me are. Especially when you're around other people or at school, try to eat very bland food that won't upset your stomach (like bread, crackers and cheese, etc).
Thirdly, a lot of the time my stomach gets upset due to psychological factors, like anxiety, panic, etc. I've learned that avoiding situations that trigger anxiety is impossible, but learning to calm myself down isn't. So if you feel like it could be at all connected to stress, if you start to feel sick start taking deep breaths, remove yourself mentally from whatever situation you're in (maybe even close your eyes). Do whatever you can to calm yourself.
I understand how much it can suck and add to depression, and it sounds like your life is already hard enough as it is without health issues on top of it. But if you can, try to see a doctor because you might not have IBS at all, but some other condition that might be more easily curable.
hi placid
i also went through the same thing after my parents divorced . i went to talk to a counsellor and also prayed .That made me feel better
I used to feel like you and I know how hard it is. Just know that things get better and when you look back on your life in the future you will be so happy that you didn't kill yourself.
About your parents, maybe you could talk to the police and let them know what's going on? There's always something better out there, keep smiling gorgeous :)
Feel free to message me if you want to talk :)
Hey so im 16 and im your typically popular girl in school i geuss you could say...sports, good grades, theater, friends... But even though i put on this huge front i'm struggling with everything. My mom is a drug addict...i dont think ive ever actually wanted to admitt it but she is. My dad even though he lives with us is emtionally and sometimes physically abusive. And my younger sister is special needs and very hard to handle. I used to cut but its been almost 2 years although i think about it alot....i stopped cutting but replaced it with other things like partying, alcohol, girls and guys, and gosip.... I feel like i should just give up.. I mean i try so hard but make no difference and im just really tired of putting up with everything.. I ruin everything and im just tired.
@sararosa
Somtimed life at 16/17 can feel hopeless. Like you're stuck in a shell with no way out. I assure you that with time you will find your way out of this shell. You will find yourself and you will find the joy in life that has escaped you at this time. Just hang in there and endure for now. Allow yourself a chance at finding strength inside yourself. LI am new to this forum and am limited on time to respond, but wanted to respond to you.