Seing the world with the eyes of naive person.

I already did some post before, so I am gonna keep this short, plus loneliness is already killing me, I think... not sure.. it has always been part of me, being lonely, at least for like, for ever.. at some point,

I had always been very naive, thinking that I could get away with not doing anything, and people will do things for me, maybe my life did not become very favorable for me, I mean I had good stuff in my life, but loneliness for me , is being always there at some point. Maybe cause I did not have very good parents who were helping me or being emotionally open. On the contrary, my father has always been empty and the same with my mother, my father has been a real jerk, and we will leave it there, cause fuck it I dont want to remain on the past being a victim of my mind for ever and ever... if you know what i mean...

To say it shortly I fucked up... I know ... So there is so much I need to change in my life, there is so much I ignore about the world... I should really open my eyes and begin to make some changes so I can have the kind of lifestyle that i want, I know change is hard, but who says things will be easy... but on the contrary if I dont change things will just be worst and worst... and even though some people could help me up to the point, or pretend to help me out... this help wont be there for ever.. and as i get older.. things will just be more complicated... so to say it bluntly is time for me to get my shit together... i know i am super hard on myself.. but that is all I know I can do.... at least i will try to not beat myself up to death,....