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okeyyyy
4 1,194,442 M Meaningful Journey 13
PathStep 61 Compassion hearts86,137 Forum posts1,520 Forum upvotes2,458 Current upvotes2,458 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceDecember 3, 2015
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i like waffles 🙃

Recent forum posts
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Reconnecting With Reality After AI Isolation
Journals & Diaries / by okeyyyy
Last post
 June 10th
...See more During ACL recovery I spent most of my time at home and became heavily dependent on screens, especially AI image generation, both SFW and NSFW. What started as entertainment and self-gratification became an endless novelty/dopamine loop that isolated me more and made me feel disconnected from real life and people. AI generation feels dangerous because it is instant, infinite, easy, and never-ending compared to real relationships, socializing, or self-improvement, which require effort and interaction. The more isolated I became, the more I used AI and the computer as escape, creating a spiraling cycle. I realized the gym helps regulate my life far beyond exercise itself. Being around people, talking, seeing real life, biking, swimming, and having physical routines reconnects me to reality and reduces the alienated “living on another planet” feeling that comes from excessive screen time and staying trapped in my own thoughts. Today I also noticed how easy it is to lose entire days in AI generation and stimulation loops without sleep (“just one more”). I need to reduce that cycle and rebuild more balance through real-world routines, people, movement, and structure.
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my life is like multi tabs multi attention dispersed everywere no focus
Mindfulness Center / by okeyyyy
Last post
 May 17th
...See more Lately i had been too caught in generating images mostly nsfw, and others as well, i notice how the computer and image generation become like a drug to escape from other lacking in my life. Such as lack of face to face human contact, lack of structure, goals, lack of doing things for my life. On the other hand i am rehabbing from ACL ( anterior cross ligament) surgery was on day 15 of January of 2026, I am recovery well, doing gym again which is one of the moments i go outside my house, and I am addict to computers, electronic devices, etc. Used to be addict to video games but I stopped that like 2 years ago. I do therapy 2 days per week, I aim to go to the gym 6 days per week, and going back to swimming too on top of weight lifting, next month i will be able to do bicycle too outside, now i can only do stationary one. I also learn Chinese and draw. Yet my main issue with me is I do so many solo activities that at a point were i get to the screen of the computer, while going with the intent of drawing, or maybe other productive activities, i end up doing more passive things to escape my loneliness and feeling bad for all the mistakes i did and continue to do, so so like escapism,  So i should try to have an agenda , to organize myself and work on things to do, even small things, like yesterday i went to play D&D with dungeon master, is a sorta board game were everyone assume roles of fantasy character, one directs (DM) and our actions are determine by luck (trow of dice) . It was lovely being outside my house speaking with others, i did some drawing scribbles while there , i guess out of anxiety , and at time i realized how lovely is to interact with people, be outside, walk, feel the sun, see the sky, the trees and not just images in a computer. I had another activity planed for that day, but due to that i only slept around 1-3 hours due to staying all night with computer i did not went to second activity of mundo lingo( language practices). So all in all was a productive day, I also need to work on things like my sleeping schedule, doing daily activities for me and my house and others i need to pay attention to like doctors, or whatever could benefit me in taking care of myself and growing, like baby step. thanks for reading  done :)  yay 
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family words and a lot of people words mean nothing.
Anxiety Support / by okeyyyy
Last post
 March 1st
...See more when a family smiles at you or say we love you, its just for show.   when a family member who never dares to send you a freaking whatsapp, or call you, hears that you are on the house of a family member he cares about , like my mom told this cousin , i got surgery, and sends a message oh send him my regards. but does not even call me , when i sent him messages in whatsapp he ignores them.  first with the excuse of oh his father is dying , not even a sorry i am morning now for this years cant talk, then oh too busy cant do this. and sometimes when everyone lies , is hard to know how speaks truth, or when i went spend 9 days after surgery on my mom`s house, ( anterior cross ligament ) suddenly people come to visit me, but they never really went to visit me, i was just an excuse for them to go and see mom. i was like a placeholder, when i went back to my house, suddenly i dropped off the map. so what are worst if not empty air, and people just talk nice to gain things from others. and i had similar things, like my father pretending to be a good father, etc. 
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There is a cat in my house right neow 😼
Journals & Diaries / by okeyyyy
Last post
 January 20th
...See more this is a catastrophe😼 you must be kitting me 😼 Purr‑lease remain calm, this is not a drill.” 🐾 “I was not feline prepared for this.” 😼 “Current situation: cat‑astrophic but manageable.” 🐈 “I’m paws‑itive this house is no longer mine.” 🐾 “Send help… or treats.” 🍗 “This meeting has been hijacked by a meow‑nager.” 📋 “I tried to study, but the cat said no.” 😌 “Zero work done. Many biscuits made.” 🐾 “This is now a fur‑mally occupied territory.” 🐈‍⬛ “I had plans… the cat had paws‑ibilities.” 🐾 “Resistance is futile. You will be cuddled.” 😽 “The cat has assumed loaf position. All activities canceled.” 🍞 “I am being judged in complete meow‑ral silence.” 👀 “Please excuse the delay, I am under cat‑trol.” 🎮 “My productivity has been knocked off the table.” 📉 “This house now runs on cat‑astrophic scheduling.” 🕰️ “I don’t own a cat. The cat owns me.” 🐾 （chatgpt ) helped me wrote it :) yay 
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another entry
Journals & Diaries / by okeyyyy
Last post
 February 4th
...See more so i am more into time management and goal management and seeking what i should do when and managing better my time.  so i know i want to learn different things, and i can do a lot of art , 3d, 2d, anatomy, shading, thumbnails, learning skills , even chinese, gym, but its more a fact on how to organize on what things to learn when for how long so i have time for other things like  social activities, going out, still have a balance, so  i can practice some chinese writting, chinese, so different things, and not be desperate about a one thing when i am like i find pleasure in one thing and it tends to overtake other things. like also watching cartoons, like need to be more careful with my time management so i can be more tactical , and know things should have a limit in how much i dedicate to different things.  i tend to be ok with learning skills, i always had learned many things and many of which i stopped doing, like violin, singing, i used to do and stopped doing.  is more the question that at the end of the day i am just hiding under a lot of activities.    and being very alone, i even got to got ok with being alone , i learned after many years to adapt. is just that i know i must change things       thanks   i can do certain things cause my family is helping me with money so i have more time to do certain things.   i also have to be more careful with at what time i sleep and so on, to be more regular with my life and look for what i want in life.   at least i do have peace of mind which is good, despite sometimes getting angry for cause in society many things can make you angry, but i am trying not to get angry over nothing.   i admit that is a thing to try.   like stupid car blasting nonsensical music    Is someone trying to engage in conflict? Use the Mute button that shows below one's comment to control what you wish to see. looks like music out of a mental hospital... to make you insane.   but so is people chaotic.  
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doing some cutsey art , yay
Hobby Zone / by okeyyyy
Last post
 December 26th, 2025
...See more i will leave it at here, so till here roughly 8 hours it took me and i did it in 5 sessions,  this is a study of tenten course light and shadow . 
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Mega productive day.
Journals & Diaries / by okeyyyy
Last post
 December 24th, 2025
...See more Today I did work on my art , rendering practice part 1, took me some time , then i went cycling to the gym, I did 30 mins of swimming , 1 hour of weight lifting,  went back cycling, (1 hour cycling total) , 40 mins of writing in Chinese practice, 40 mins of grammar practice with chatgpt.  🥰  
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