Slowly sinking
I've been married for 15 years. We've, of course have had our ups and downs over the years. Have a total of 6 kids (3 together including a 9 month old). We're in our 40s. We both work full-time jobs, the kids who are still at home are very active in extracurriculars year around. I'm responsible for the kids, paying the bills, cleaning house, cooking, working outside the home at my job and so much more. He works long hours and takes care of the yard work and vehicles and believes thats all he has to do. I'm being yelled at constantly or criticized for what's done or not done. No matter what, it all turns into being my fault. I've tried talking with him then it turns into an argument cause he says I started it. No matter what I do it's not good enough. His days off, he does what he wants, goes fishing etc. My days off, he expects me to clean, grocery shop, etc. (Most of the time I'm at a tourney with one of the kids). Then he accuses me off not doing enough. He tells me to get my ass to work more even though I'm working 40 hours per week or more, He just expects more. I'm at my wits end. Slowly sinking into depression and wondering if they would all be better off without me. This morning after working night shift, I climbed in bed with him butt naked, only to be rejected (something he never does, he usually wants it all the timeand gets mad at me if I don't). His last words to me today before he went to work was "get your ass to work more" and then hung up on me. Help!
Tough one....however, maybe let him know you are going to go shopping, and that the house stuff will be left up to him, and stick to it. If you wash the clothes give him his basket, let it be up to him to fold and put up. Maybe show him how to cook, and tell him it's his turn, if he doesn't let him know you and the kiddies are going out, he can have a pb and j sandwich. You got married together, you had children together, and you both have jobs. Share things and tell him that, but be nice about it.
@amethya he's a good cook. He just says it's not his job. Nothing is his job when it comes to the house. We were taking turns on whoever got home first started cooking (we both work days but the last month it has changed a bit. Well be going back soon) then it got to where he'd just order pizza if he had to cook but if I did, it was a big argument.
@amicableDay6579 so, so sorry, I feel your pain.
@amethya I'll clean house and he swears I didn't. He'll look and knit pick until he can find something to gripe about. Its like he just wants to argue, point out my flaws, and be belittling. And if I tell him just that, he turns it aroundand says I started the argument.
@amethya oh and I've tried the laundry thing. His gets nearly folded and stackedin the bedroom floor. He absolutely will not put them away. He just throws them all over while looking for something to wear until I can't stand it and end up picking them all up and putting them away.
