Still depressed alone

So I'll put it like it is; I'm struggling with depression alone, I wasn't welcomed when I reached out before it gotten that bad, but kicked in the teeth and looked down at instead. The only person I could tell about my struggle was both my best friend and lover, he broke my heart about it over and over, and I regret telling him about it.

My fight is a daily struggle, and I'm seeking the support I failed to find in my real life. More than just a random one time chat. It's frustrating when I get my requests (whether personal or random) not taken, or when listeners stop replying.. etc. Reaching for help is already hard as it is. And I'm not the best at expressing, and that's even worse.

I don't expect someone to show up and solve my problems or heals my wounds for me. I wish I could find someone to cheer for me while I try, support me, not judge how bad I fail or how hopeless I feel a lot.

If any listener out there is willing to help or if you know a listener who is, I'd be super grateful.

Thanks for taking the time to read.