Telling my boyfriend about my depression
So my boyfriend and I have been arguing a lot recently. I've been feeling depressed recently and usually for me that presents itself as laying in bed all day. In the past it was him with the trouble with depression and I was there for him and we got through it but with all the arguing I don't feel like he would care that I'm struggling now but the arguments have shifted to just about anything I didn't do around the house since all I've been doing is laying in bed. He seems to just think I've been lazy but it's really that I just can't bring myself to do anything so him yelling at me doesn't help. I worry if I tell him now he won't believe me or that "I'm just being a baby and need to get over it".
he struggled with it I would think he would understand but he doesn't have any sympathy and I don't know if it's the arguing or what. I'm just really lost and alone.
@purpleBunny9255 hello there! thank you for coming here to talk about this, it isn't easy to open up about what you're feeling and putting yourself in a vulnerable position. You're very brave for doing so. I'm sorry to hear you feel like he's lacking on some sympathy for you and not being there like you felt you were there for him. It sounds like he doesn't realise you're feeling something similar to what he did before, one would say that would make him more likely to understand, but sometime it's not easy to put yourself in someone else's shoes. How do you think this situation with him can be improved? What was do you see to help him understand what you're going through better?
I want to let you know that we're here for you no matter what and will support you all through this feelings you're having. All the love!
@purpleBunny9255
I've been exactly where you have been. I struggled with depression in 2017 after a minor car accident. I didn't even realize it was depression until a few months into it. All I knew at the time was that I was laying in bed a lot more and the things that used to bring me pleasure weren't anymore. One day I had an "a-ha" moment where I went, "Wait....am I depressed?". I wasn't doing as much around the house and I can't remember exactly, but I'm sure it caused some arguments. In any event, you should def talk to your boyfriend about it. Don't feel guilty about your mental health. Don't feel guilty for not "pitching in". You need to put yourself first. Try each day to celebrate your "wins"- did you get out of bed? Give yourself some credit. Did you take a shower? Give yourself some credit. Be kind and patient and gentle with yourself. One of the best pieces of advice somebody ever gave me was, "Treat yourself like you would treat a friend". Most of us would NEVER talk to a friend the way we talk to ourselves in our heads. If a friend was depressed, you wouldn't say, "Oh yeah well you better go wash those dishes." I hope this helps in some small way! <3
