The Seven Stages Of Depression

The Seven Stages Of Depression

Disclaimer: Im not an expert, nor are there any official stages to depression. I just thought Id share my take on it. :) Enjoy reading!

I present to you my creation: The Seven Stages Of Depression!

Denial

Despondency

Desperation

Numbness

Hitting rock bottom

Hope and Flight

Recovery and Relief

Denial:

You wake up with a pit in your stomach, though there isnt any clear reason. The world seems to be moving slower, you watch the clock tick by while you lay in your bed. Eventually you get tired of this and get up. Your feet feel weighed down today, something feels off, but you cant put your finger on it. There is an eerie feeling in the air that covers the walls and whole house. Despite this you continue while thinking Nothing is wrong, deep down in that pit you know something is off.

Jumping onto your bike and pedaling to school didnt feel the same either. It was getting harder and harder to pedal and by the time you got to school you had almost slowed to a crawl. No one else seems to notice, its strange to you. Not wanting to be late, you walk to class. But you cant concentrate on your work, youve never had this problem before. Why is this time different? Its nothing, you say, forcing yourself to stay focused.

Despondency:

Youve accepted that something is wrong, but its getting harder and harder to control. It feels like the world moves slower and everything results in boredom. Your appetite shifts from binge eating to not eating at all and you never feel satisfied. Its either feel bad about eating too much or feel ashamed for people pointing out you eat too little.

During class you cant focus at all, thoughts of mistakes and anxieties are flooding into your head. Its like a faucet is always dripping and you can only think of that. Your friends have pointed out you dont talk as much and are shaking? Are you shaking? Why are you shaking? Can you stop shaking? How could things plummet like this without a reason?

Desperation:

What is happening to me? You have so many questions, most remain unanswered. The questions branch into more questions until you feel crushed by your own curiosity. You still smile, laugh, but you know deep down its fake. That doesnt mean you are unhappy all the time but it sure feel like you are. The pit in your stomach and the weight on your feet still linger around. You want it to stop more than anything. Why? Why wont it stop? What? What is causing this? How? How am I supposed to feel? The questions go on until they make a tree of questions.

You feel as you are losing yourself. You try to rationalize it and say its nothing. But unlike the first stage you cant convince yourself its nothing. You want so badly for someone to say your feelings are valid, but because of the fake smiles, they never do. You realize this and still keep it hidden. Why? Why am I hiding this? you ask time and time again.

Numbness:

There is nothing left. You wasted everything away. Connections, friendships, tears, and now your emotions. Shame. Shaming yourself is the only way for you to motivate yourself. Motivation, right? Its less motivation and more of a way for you to oppress yourself with hatred. But it got you to do things right? Right?

Every night you float around in darkness, spiraling downwards like youre on a runaway train. You cry, and cry, and cry, but it has no meaning. There is no emotion in crying anymore. You are numb, numb to feelings, to the pain which youve learned to lean into, and you are numb to the people around. How did it get to this point?

Hitting rock bottom:

Nothing matters anymore. You want to lay in bed and sleep your life away. You disconnect yourself from others, friends, family, and your surroundings. It feels like you are floating in purgatory. Family has pointed out you acting differently but you still say that you are fine. Why? Why do you say youre fine when you know you are not? Its not like it matters anyway.

Apathy strikes you every time you are slightly motivated and doing anything requires a will of titanium. Its too late to get help you say. You feel mortified of being judged because of the stigma depression has. Is that it? Depression? Many others have it worse, I cant have depression. No I have nothing to feel sad over, you say these while helplessly into a pillow.

Friends say you angry and irritable. Why cant they see the pain you are going through? Why are they so blind? There is no reason. Without a reason you cant move on. How are you supposed to move on without reason? You cut yourself off completely, retreating inwards. Thats fine, no regrets, right?

Hope and Flight:

Its alright, it will get better? To you it doesnt seem that way, youve always been told everything happens for a reason but what is the reason behind this? If there was anything you could latch onto, an idea, a person, a memory.

But its been weeks, months, almost a year. But then it hits you. Out of nowhere, something, anything. It hits you abruptly, you are so taken aback by this. Something hopeful is finally in the future. What the heck there is nothing left anyway, why not chase it? You pack up everything you have, your wits, your shriveled up feelings, and yourself, anxious thoughts and all.

You have doubt but at this point you are so curious. After a long time of preparing, you do it, you run after the thing youve wanted this past year, hope. There it is, get it.

Recovery and Relief:

It doesnt happen immediately, but one by one your feelings return. You open a door to everyone who was waiting for you, the sun is shining and the flowers are in bloom. Not everyone you started with is there, but the people you love and care about are. You no longer need a reason. You cut down the tree of questions, wipe away your bad thoughts, the cloud around you goes away with time.

You are happy. For one after all that, you are happy. Nothing can take away the awe of having feelings again. You still feel sad sometimes and thats okay. Your feelings are valid. :)

Written by: Hopemaybloom

Tagging some awesome people: @KadyHero @Felixthefriendlycat @KennethListens @peachesandcream13 @iKat