The problem of "automated word vomit (a mini rant)
This is mostly going to be a ranting space for me to let out negativity. Nobody has to respond.
So, ive been dealing with this depressed life for a long while now. On and off for several years, with more recently it becoming more of an issue. As I've gone through many different ways to try to make myself feel better,including talking to other people about my depressiom, there is a phrase I hear over and over again that ends up, instead of making me feel better and hopeful, make me feel aggrivated beyond belief. Yes, I'm talking about the phrase "It gets better".
Like okay, its not a bad phrase really. It can be encouraging to an extent, but what really just annoys the crap out of me with this phrase is I have noticed generally two types of people where these words become a tool:
1. People who have absolutely NO idea what it is like to have depression and/or does not even know anyone who has depression and therefore don't understand what it is like.
Or
2. People who have gone through and have actually recovered from depression on some way.
From my experience, this mindless automated throw up message comes mostly from people in number 1. Here's what I get annoyed about. You don't have to tell me it gets better. Do you know me and all i have to deal with? Do you want a thank you so you can score some brownie points like those do-gooder celebrities? Sorry Its not going to happen. That phrase pisses me off. Its like a broken record. It doesnt help me at all. You think I havent tried saying that phrase to myself before while I'm laying in bed crying for no reason? I have and it doesn't work.if I cant even believe it yet then what makes you think I will believe it when You say it? You: someone who never had to suffer before. Someone who can get out of bed and brush their teeth with no problem because they can believe in a good day. someone who's never contemplated killing themselves. You think you can suddenly relate to what iam going through just by spouting out something positive? You can't. No matter how hard you try. I know you may genuinely want to help, and that is just fine, but if all you have to give me is that automated "it gets better" phrase as you cheerfully walk away while giving youself a mental pat on the back, I would rather you just not say anything to me at all. Now that would be helping.
Hi Elizabeth!
This was a great rant 
I agree with you.. There are a lot of phrases like that—things people say while they cheerfully walk away. A kind of poisonous empathy-destroying positivity.
Part of the problem, I think, is that wanting to help thing. Wanting to be the one who comes up with the answer, who fixes what's broken, who speaks the right magic words, when what's needed is simply being-with.
@mimameid
@mimameid
I voted :)
@mimameid Wow, I thought I was the only one that gets pissed off at that saying. I also hate it when people say that everyone gets sad thoughts and that everyone feels depressed sometimes. Really? Every person in the world feels like they been trapped in a hole for 10+ years? Every person lacks motivation, self-esteem, and the ability to be genuinely happy. I know that depression insist rare or anything, however everybody doesn't know how I feel or been through what I'm going through. You saying what I feel is normal and everyone experienced depression at least once in their life doesn't help my situation.
@mimameid
Yeah, that phrase bothers me too. Sometimes people being relentlessly and oppressively positive just makes me feel worse because at my worst I can't feel like that. I absolutely cannot. If I can't feel anything but a vague sense of blah, how could I possibly find any value in such a phrase? I mean, I know they mean well and I try not to say anything about it (because they'll get defensive) but it definitely gets tiresome hearing that over and over.