There are times when loneliness is the price of freedom.

It is often said that it is better to be alone than in bad company, and that it is better to have a dignified solitude than to try to keep a love NO by your side. We understand “NOT love” as those couples who only feed on dissatisfaction and in which negative feelings reign that take over the emotional freedom of their members.

It is common, at some point in our lives, to fall into bad relationships, as from early childhood we learn that the ideal couple has to be of the type "I can't live without you", "without you my life would be meaningless", “without you I die”, etc.

If we analyze these phrases we will notice that they unleash an avalanche of pressures and demands on the other person and on the relationship itself, which can come to dominate us and exhaust our inner self.

So when we get to the point of facing an insane relationship, we need to relearn something we should be very clear about: The only person I need to live is myself. No more, no less, this is quite simple. There is no love without self-love.

The love of your life is yourself. When are you going to stop to understand this?
Love doesn't beg, love doesn't beg, love doesn't beg, love doesn't cry too much.
Love is a healthy condition, love is a positive condition, love is an ability. Love is an ambition for many but a privilege for a few.


The fear of being alone ties us to bad relationships.

At first, the fear of being alone in life is an adaptive, positive and healthy issue. However, as with everything else, there are certain limits that must not be exceeded. Specifically, that of submitting to pain and enduring all kinds of suffering to avoid separation.

Many people, as a result of the education received and the experiences lived, feel great despair at the idea of ​​feeling alone in the world, which drives them to get involved in dysfunctional relationships.

There is a text by Maria Theresa of Calcutta that talks about this is truly disturbing.

“There are people who have a spouse but feel as lonely and empty as if they don't have one.

There are others who, for not waiting, decide to walk alongside someone wrong and, in their selfishness, do not allow that someone to go away even knowing that it does not make them happy.

There are people who sustain broken marriages or engagements, simply because they think that being alone is difficult and unacceptable. There are people who decide to take second place trying to reach first, but this journey is hard, uncomfortable and fills us with pain and abandonment.

But there are other people who are alone and live and shine and give themselves to life in the best way. People who don't go out, on the contrary, lighten up more and more every day. People who learn to enjoy solitude because it helps them to get closer to themselves, to grow and to strengthen themselves.

These people are the ones who one day, without knowing the exact moment or why, find themselves next to the person who loves them with true love, and fall in love in a wonderful way.”

It's society that teaches us not to like loneliness.

It is common to see 2×1 offers on dinners, cruises or cocktails, so it is not strange to have the preconceived idea that to be a complete person and enjoy life we ​​need to have company.

Therefore, there are few people who do not expect others to erase the feeling of loneliness from their emotional mind. We tend to feel incapable of being responsible for ourselves, so the most direct consequence of this thought is the need to look for someone to protect us.

We tend to associate the fact of not having a partner with affective and social isolation, when in fact not having a partner is not synonymous with confinement or not having the option to have meaningful human contact.

There is no magic formula that will help us to overcome the fear of being alone, but the best way to end this is by starting to be, risking feeling, knowing and walking without help. Whether you have a partner or not, meeting yourself and enjoying your own company is essential for our well-being. The rest may or may not enhance it, as it is an accessory.

Therefore, as Maurice Maeterlinck said, “inner silence is the sun that ripens the fruits of the soul”. In other words, finding company in yourself and falling in love with your inner self is a tremendous gift to yourself. From there, come what may, because we will be emotionally able to tune in with others if we want.

There is also the possibility of not wanting to fall in love with anyone and, therefore, wishing to be alone in order to get to know each other more or live experiences that otherwise would not be possible. This decision that seems so easy to analyze is not simple for most of us, as it seems that, as we said before, in our models it is essential to have a partner.

Be that as it may, to fall in love with another person you must first fall in love with yourself, which will lead us to achieve inner balance within solitude, a great traveling companion we should all talk to during our life journey.