This is an extract taken from a different post of mine... please, tell me your thoughts.

What happens if you find it hard to stop dwelling on the way he badly treated you during the relationship.

A few weeks after he dumped me, he made a joke saying he was in hospital. At first, this was serious to me. He told me he's in hospital after having a heart attack. At first I was freaking out asking if he was alright and what happened. He then resorted to telling me "lol, sorry. It weren't that. I have a broken leg". I was a little distraught after panicking, so I didn't necessary know what to think or say. I asked if his leg was okay, and decided to forgive him as he's in hospital with a broken leg and felt like making an idiotic joke for fun. He then said "lol, I'm joking. It's not me, it's actually my dad". And I replied, oh what's wrong? "He had a heart attack last night", so once again the tears were coming. I was saying, holy **** are you okay? Is your dad okay? Who is taking care of you now? And he said "oh, I'm with him. He's okay. That was a joke!"

He made a joke about having a heart attack and I took it seriously, so seriously in fact it hurt a little when he told me it was a joke. Now, I would've been fine but thoughts about him, about our relationship, lingered in my mind so it was a struggle taking it as a joke. I know his humour can be foul, so can mine, we used to laugh at one another and with each other. But... no, it stung me. I was genuinely worried for his life, imagining him in a bed with a heart monitor attached to him, late at night with his dad anxious watching.

Enough about this. Turns out he was in hospital because his dad had a zit on his butt that started leaking so it had to be drained, it was early hours in the morning too. I could believe it. He sent me a photo of the waiting room. Want to know the main point of this re-entry into my thread though?? On the same night he sent me this "you're lovely. x" -- now, this caught me waaaaay off guard because he often said this to me when he was acting like my boyfriend... even the kiss at the end, he never does this... "are you blushing?" he asked me after a few seconds of silence. I replied "yes... uh, Tyler. Why are you sending kisses?" -- "I was flirting with you".

He was flirting with me... but why? I continued trying to understand what he meant, asked questions like "um, what did you mean flirting?? Didn't we break up??????" and he is like "yeah, we broke up". I asked again what he meant, the first 3 times he hardly gave me an answer, even went offline suddenly in the middle of me trying to find out. "Sorry, I fell asleep". Forgave him for falling asleep as the night was late, and he's at hospital, but I couldn't make myself shut up or shut off unless I had a quick response. Besides, he's known for staying up past 1AM... with evidence on this Thread to back it up. "Tyler... sorry for waking you, but please let me know as it's going to be on my mind tonight... promise to let you sleep afterwards? Lol." He told me to get to bed. Go to sleep. And he signed off.

The following morning, I see him online so I asked him again hoping this time he might be a little more awake to answer my question. "Hi, um... about last night. You never told me what it meant.. why did you tell me you were flirting?" He told me it was a friendly comment, along with his famous please-let-me-be-excused-for-being-a-little-inconsiderate "sowwy". (Flashbacks to when he would blank me for 2 days in the beginning of dating and failed to get back in touch until the time I was asleep at roughly 12 midnight, "sowwy").

He isn't silly. He KNOWS what flirting is. He even consciously added a kiss. Now, friendly comments are sweet, but to call it flirting? He knows what flirting is, surely he does. I even explained to him what flirting was before. He couldn't have forgotten, especially with the "x" on the end.

A month down the line I noticed he stoppped responding to my texts today. No, not me exaggerating. Today at lunch I noticed him sitting at a full table with the rest of his mates, he said "hi", but once I realised there weren't enough room I sat on the table behind him, feeling worried that if I joined the table I would disrupt his conversations. He was invested. They were having fun socialising. He must've noticed me among his discussions as he texted me with "are you okay?" I responded honestly, "no... I'm not". He said "oh, okay". Now, he may have just been NICE enough to talk with me a little after I was feeling bad, but he never made any effort to ask if I wanted to join him or come over and sit with me for a little when his other friends left. Instead, this lovely 23 year old sat beside me, brought along his female friend, and we have an amazing discussion while he offered to share chips with me.

Tyler noticed this. I don't know his thoughts, but he never waved to say "bye" when he left the lunch hall. He normally would've. I remember before the end of half-term I noticed him talking less and less to me, ignoring my messages like before, even after being active. I remember ages ago he tried this on me, purposely not reading my messages, before coming back with "I'm sorry! I don't ever want to forget you... I'm sorry". I began to feel upset... as if I've done something to make him not wanting to talk with me... at all. I felt like somehow I have been a bad friend to him, so I messaged him one night with "would you still like to be friends?" I needed something to rest my insecurities.

He responded afterwards with "ya, of course!"

He responded a few days afterwards when I never responded with "oh, I didn't know I was that much of a bad friend!" sarcastically. I instantly regretted myself and explained to him my worries about friendships and ruining them. Me ruining them, somehow. He told me "honestly I'm upset", "I dumped you! I'm such a good friend... aren't I???" and proceeded to ghost me for a good while. Late at night he comes back and starts talking to me. He asked me what my deadly sin was out of the 7 Deadly Sins. Conflicted, I didn't know how to respond, so I said something ordinary like "food! I'm Greed because I can eat the entire fridge!" he laughed before saying "mine's Anger".

"Anger". Anger like how he approached me in the relationship. Anger over how I seeked his attention and yet he grew angrier and angrier after every Facebook alert. Angry that he was angry at himself for being angry at me and ghosted me for an entire week before breaking up with me. Angery over little things. Generally angry. He told me before the relationship he got angry easily, but this relationship felt forced on his end, which made me feel uncomfortable and unable to love him openly. Even today I'm scared to talk unless he blanks me, signs off, is busy, gets angry at me for it, ghosts me like he has done 3 times already for small things...

This made me uncomfortable, luckily I have a sweet sweet friend who would give me cuddles at my old college whenever I was distressed and believes in platonic love so much he would send me hearts and kisses in my inbox. He's also a Health & Social Care student, so he is always there to listen, will drop everything in a heartbeat if a friend is distressed and needs his company.

Before ghosting me, remember how I said "I dumped you! Such a good friend... aren't I???" -- he brought up him dumping me and my dread for him comes back a little more. It's okay being friends with someone you care about, without the feelings of feeling rejected after being dumped, I played smart by not letting him get into my pants, held back, took it slow. Didn't let my feelings get the better of me. I trained myself for this, weren't going to give in now. So, it's not so much that I love him. It's the way he treated me, makes me feel a little unnerved in our friendship.

Am I bad for feeling this way? I'm talking to him less and less until he gets the point, the point that he has hurt me... to see if he cares enough about our friendship to not lose me, as I feel myself drawing distant with every unanswered text message, every empty table at lunch, every cancelled hang-out, and every time he ghosts me.

He's a sweet guy. He honestly is. I just... the way he treated me... I'm not sure what to do with our friendship. I want to keep it, yet I wouldn't feel affected letting him go on my terms... I love to hang out with him, goof off and stuff, yet... I still feel a little upset about the way he acted... he may have not meant it, but... I just don't know, if I tried speaking to him about it he may get angry.

See? I'm now worried about angering him. He's not that kind of guy, he's a nice person... yet, I feel a little in the dark... maybe it's me doing that to us? What, with all my quietness, no longer talking and being too upset with things. I want to save this friendship. I do, but he's making it hard.

Want to hear more about the relationship? He never messaged until 12 midnight. This became a cycle. I'd stop messaging him altogether, he'd never come around. Once I needed cheering up. I needed support, so I called him up and the conversation ended with "don't talk to me about your problems. Speak to your parents" and "I need time to think". Ghosted me for up to a week. We've only dated for 3 weeks, but even then he never made an effort to see me, talk to me, et cetera. Once I had to remind him we were going out, something he organised, and he completely forgot already had his own plans for himself.

He'd get angry when I'd ask where I stood in the relationship. Talked about my feelings. He kept on telling me to calm down, completely dismissing my feelings and throwing them aside. You can find the post for yourself and read up on my experiences, but right now we focus on our FRIENDSHIP...

It's falling apart. I feel depressed. Not sure where to go, or what to think. If I leave him alone, does that make me bad? Am I the bad person? He doesn't understand what he is doing, yet he knows exactly what he is doing.

Sorry if this is a pathetic post. I needed opinions on this friendship...