Today i lost the love of my life....
Its a long story. About a month ago my girlfriend and i got in to a big fight. It was so bad i thought it was over for good. So i moved to Texas to get a new job and live with a friend. about two weeks later we start talking and we got back together. She was still in Las Vegas but we talked everyday. it seemed like everything was good. two weeks ago she is talking about getting a plane ticketand i am dreaming about a future togetherwith her. then last Thursdayshe text me saying she cant comedown. that everyone is telling her its a bad idea, that she cant talk with me anymore and for me to stop trying to contact her. I was texting her i loved her that i could make her happy, i was calling her but she was not picking up. after two days her dad calls me and tell me that she committed suicide. that she was in the hospital.Ive been a wreak for the past week. I'm hardly eating or sleeping. Today i just found out that she did not make it.that she is gone. Before i met her i had given up on life,on finding happiness. all i did was go to work and play video games and eat what ever i wanted. i was slowly killing myself. Then she came in to my life. I was happy, i started working out, being more active, and eating better. She gave me that spark to live again.But now that she is gone i feel so lost. i want to follow her so bad. but i cant do that to my family. but at the moment i have no desire to live. I know that she would not want me to be like this. to feel like this. i just don't know what to do. I made her such a big part of my life.im so mad at everything. I could not go and see her in the hospital and i cant make it to her funeral. I wish i could of saved her. I blame myself that she died.I am trying to find help. I'm waiting on a call from family services to get me a consular. I must of called every hotline i could find. I dont know what i am doing. i guess i am just looking for help.
@alexthegreat, I can only imagine the pain youre feeling right now. I found out a couple of months back, that a girl i loved that much had actually passed away 7 years ago from cancer. It, along with other bad things that have happened throughout my life, have me feeling the worst i have ever felt in my life. I havent cried as much as i have in that time. Sometimes i wont really be thinking about anything and i just start crying. I hope you get you a counselor as good as i have. Spend time on here talking with others, i know it has helped me a lot. Im sure you will hurt for a while, but please dont give up man. I will say a prayer for you. Time will make you feel better and in time maybe you will find another great love. I know it wont be the same woman but you can still love another and you must stay strong and go on for the rest of your loved ones. I dont know you but i would hate to see you give up and not be with the rest of us anymore. There are plenty of other people here that i bet feel the same too.
@alexthegreat. Grieve for her. You loved her dearly, and the world is a dimmer place without her. But don't blame yourself. Unless you physically harmed her yourself, you bear no blame for her choice. I know it feels like it because of the circumstances, but you are not now or ever responsible for causing her death. She chose to take her life, not you. Believe me, that is not a road you want to travel. You will always doubt yourself and you will dwell on the what ifs. You can drive yourself insane with those. This'll sound cliche, but I doubt that she would want you to follow her. I think she would want you to be happy some time down the road. But do grieve for her. Shed tears and weep for her. The death of a loved one is heartbreaking and soul rending. But never forget who she was and what she would want for you. Always cherish her and honor the love and memories you had together. Losing someone who you have loved so much is never, ever easy. Nor should it be. But in the end, they never truly leave us for they are always in our hearts. I will pray for you, my friend. Should you ever need anyone to talk to, there are scores of people willing and ready to listen. Stay strong, brother.
Dear friend,
I, too, lost someone I loved in a similar way. The grief seems unbearable.
It was eight years ago. My heart has healed, but I still think of them every week, sometimes every day. Now, though, the memories don't hurt, they bring me peace and I cherish the times we had together.
Heartbreak is very real pain, just like a broken bone. The first week is the most intense. You may experience a lot of symptoms related to grief. It's vitally important that you love yourself, reach out to the people around you (you would be surprised how many of us have experienced something similar, and are willing to listen to you and try and bring you comfort). Losing a loved one is part of the human experience.
Millions of people believe that you will be reunited with your loved ones one day (but don't be in a hurry! you have love to give on this earth yet!). Even if you don't believe this, perhaps it will bring you comfort. This life is a great mystery and journey, and every breath is extraordinary....even when it hurts like hell.
Good luck, friend. You will be in my heart.
