Uncontrollable situation.

So, to help my depression I have a dab pen that I use only at night before I watch Netflix or so I can workout a little bit. It really helps me relax when I work a laborourious job for someone that's really short and small- and i work usually 40+ hours a week. My parents found my pen and they've taken it away.. and my dad said "I pay for the water you use, the electricity, this house, your food, everything. And you're 18, I'm not entitled to give you even a single grain of rice. So when you live here you do what I say" and I understand that. But I feel so hopeless, I just want to enjoy and relax at night. It makes me even more frustrated that he religiously drinks ayuhasca (I think I spelled it right),but i can't even smoke. I also feel so stuck because I can't even leave this house. He said I can do what I want when I'm living in my own place but he knows I'd be homeless if I left. I'm just miserable, I work most of the time, I don't have any friends, my boyfriend is always busy and lives an hour away and we're both always working or studying, I can't use me and my brother car to do much because we share it so I can't go many places. I just don't understand how I'm supposed to make my life seem better without weed or drugs. And the fact that my dad said he owns everything I use makes me uncomfortable in my own room even. I get anxiety from using the sink, and I can't help but think that every drop of water coming out of it, I have no right to use because it's not mine. I just have the permission to use it.