Valued

hello @sensitiveChestnut4695

I deeply sympathize with the depressed feeling you are having because of what you are experiencing but I think in this case it’s better for you to speak up. Maybe it is because you have been tolerating in silence and being nice against harsh words that your friends weren’t able to understand what you need. Friendship are something that you build and maintain yourself so in order to build them you need the other side to know your boundaries and needs. You can’t expect anyone to know what you don’t like and when you need comfort just because you call them friends. You need to tell them how you wanted to be treated. And only if they still deny your request for help or still ridicule you on topics you hate that you can call them bad friends or not your friends at all. I think getting into a good talk with them and making sure they know the damages they are making is important. Friends are not perfect companions since the beginning. It’s only because you got to know each other and care for each other’s that you started becoming friends.

@sensitiveChestnut4695

Hi there,

I feel sad about your story, but I really want to tell you that "it will all become better". Don't feel stressful about life. World is ease, and people too. We are emotional animals, so we are easy to be influenced by others; We live within a group to survive, so we care about others; We are very different with each other, so it's common that we cannot get together easily.

I think you need to talk with your friends first. Then deeply think about your relationship: Do they really worth your attention? Do they really treat you as a friend? If you still think you are friends, you should try to share them about your trouble and risks. No matter how close you and your friends are, we all need conversation to correctly understand each other.

For the people that helped you when you are driving yourself in sorrow, I believe you should also talk with them too. Even if you did not pay much attention on them, I believe they still love you very much. When I shared my sad to others, only my family members care me and tried their best to help me solve it. My friends...they do say "I'm sorry to hear that/I hope I can help/Is there anything that I can help you?", I always know they don't care about my problem very much. Of course, my problem is none of their business, but I still feel cold. Friends can never be family.

I believe you should spend more time and patience on those who truly and deeply love you. No matter what happened, they will always be on your side.

Moreover, if you don't think you can forgive "your friends", or you do not think you are friends anymore. Try to slowly getting farther from them. Don't be too emotional because that will make your situation even worse (trust me, I experienced before). There are over 7 billion people in the world, why not choose someone else? Or change a place to live.

Also, if you don't want others to leave you alone, you should be what you are. Do not be a people pleaser. My friend is a people pleaser, she treats people nicely and did not even want something return; however, her "classmates" push her away when they are creating a group. She is too nice to others, so others do not care about her: "No matter what I do, she will still be nice to me".

LOVE yourself, you are living for yourself not them.

Do not stay silent. If you really want to have strong relationship, you should talk with others more; however, do not trust others too much. No offense, but show others too much of your private information will bring you trouble.

Be careful to make friends in the future.

The world is more beautiful than you expect---I really recommend you to travel around the world, see more, hear more, know more.

There are a lot of interesting things in the world waiting you to see.

---by ihavearedapple

@sensitiveChestnut4695 Hey, no matter you believe or not, i share the same experience with you. Years before, a mf poured a bottle of hot water on me, since i had the image of a person who is benign and kind (although i am actually a crabbed guy and easy to get mad), i smiled and said nothing, then i ran to the restroom and cried like a loser. After this, i asked my friends why they even didn't speak for me. They said they are afraid to be poured on too. One difference, at least now you got somebody on your side, i don't, nobody, nobody spoke for me. After that, i stop talking with any of them and deleted all their contact ways, i spoke little and interacted little, i never hid my madness anymore, since i am not skinny, all the others kept away from me. The teacher talked with me, i expressed my circumstance, she said, "You still can be alive even alone" (i don't fully agree with this sentence because this is just a thing which makes you looked more like a careful coward who is not brave enough to accept the confrontation). But at least this sentence worked out for me at that moment. Since you still have people who is around you, you might want to treat them well and see the others who you might looked down with a different sight, unless you are still just bumptious person who caviled good people and getting close with those callous ones. Judge by your heart, while neither your brain and eyes, those two organs comprise biases. The last sentence i want say, human lives in group, not depends on group.

Hello @sensitiveChestnut4695

I deeply feel sad about your story, but I really want to tell you that everything will become better, don't be stress about your life. people and world are both ease. Pain past is pleasure, don't let one failure discourage you, don't look so blue and cheer up, I would suggest you to talk with you r friends first and then deeply think about your relationship that Does they really worth your attention? Are they really treat you as a friend? If they really don't treat you as a friend, why are you keep try to hurt yourself? Don't lose heart, whatever happen, god helps those who help themselves. I believe you should spend more time and patience on those who truly and deeply love you. No matter what happened, they will always be on your side. If at first you don't success, then try, try, try again. Nothing is impossible for a willing heart.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me it really means a lot. The old friends that left me actually didn't care about my point of view of things because they would shun me, literally. They would literally make me feel little about my past and things, I spoke up all the time but I wasn't respected. All that time I fell more into depression, misery, and unhappiness just by hanging out with those type of friends. Those friends didn't see my value or care about my opinion. I would tell them to stop and they would still continue on to joke on about me like they wouldn't care. The people who encouraged me to believe in myself, I actually started building a relationship with them because they don't see my mistakes, past, or failures but truly love me as I am. They gave me a second chance to make things right and they accepted me as I am. My old friends from high school and some of my family members, I always respected them and cared for them. Being around my old friends from high school and some of my family members actually saved my life and it freed me into being me and to accept myself as well as love myself as I am. Those are the kind of people I rather be around with because they brought me happiness that I never known before.