What am I doing
So I know this is my seccond post today but I'm really struggling tonight, I've got it into my head because I've been alone for so long that nothing is worth fighting for anymore. Things could be so much better if someone in my area or surrounding areas would just give me a chance to grow with a little support. Ii have a few online friends but I can never explain how I truly feel to someone I've never met, this pain is so unbelievable I just want to give up how can someone go from having such a life to being so alone like what even does happiness feel like? what does it feel like for someone to tell youu they love you and actually mean it?
Being numb is just my way of life now I guess I have to embrace this emptyness and just accept it for what it is, I'm seriously considering getting arrested Juust so I can go to prison and actually get some sort of social life and maybe even some support, I mean my life now is worse than any prison I can come up with anyway sometimes I just tell myself that if I die and there's some sort of afterlife maybe I could have a second chance at living?
@Thewolfasylum
I know what you mean and for me depression is a doom like nothing else in life...all I do nowadays is lay in bed 90% of my life...it is what I told therapists and psychiatrists, I know everything you tell me but mentally I cannot do anything without someone by my side, not to help me physically but just keep me company in activities...
Yes I told my online friends that in many respects my life is worse than prison...and I serve thos sentence for more than eight years now without any hope left...I wish there will be another life after this one for you or better yet wish to hear that you got well and on your way to getting a normal life...
I really don't know what to say about this major depression, it is so discouraging and disheartening and it blocks all systems...
All I can say is I go through the same thing...and what is worse is that us depressives cannot help each other either like people with other conditions can since we are not even able to motivate ourselves let alone others...nasty, ugly thing depression and very dangerous...the loss of will to live...
