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Thewolfasylum
1,421 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts34 Forum posts16 Forum upvotes44 Current upvotes44 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2020 Member sinceNovember 30, 2019
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Relapse.....
Self-Harm Recovery / by Thewolfasylum
Last post
 October 26th, 2020
...See more Hey, so... it's been a while since I was last on this app and due to recent circumstances I've actually started self-harming again and I already know in my head it's not going to end welll this time, the thing is I don't know how to keep myself safe anymore.. from myself atleast anyway. Over the years I built up lots of walls to protect myself against bad thoughts bad people and just general bad vibes but recently I've been exposing myself gradually to these things in an attempt to connect with people as I live a verry lonley life, I don't really have a family that I can talk to and what friends I do have just don't understand/I'm not close enough to to start telling them ii self harm or have these bad thoughts and what ones do know don't know the full story as I keep alot to myself due to the nature of these ideologies in my head.... I absolutely hate feeling this way and ii don't really know what to do anymore
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Back on a relapse
Depression Support / by Thewolfasylum
Last post
 June 28th, 2020
...See more So this week has been the most stressful week of this year a few weeks ago my girlfriend left me for no reason other than she didn't want to be tied down to one guy... I ended up having a fight with my friends on Thursday and ever since I've just been tearing my head to pieces with awful thoughts... I got really drunk and I had a mental breakdown and I'm pretty sure I've really annoyed my neighbours, I feel like my impulsive tenancies lead me to do / say things that I don't mean but I never know untill it's too late, having suicidal thoughts are back on a daily I just feel so alone rn and I have no idea what to do about it
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Expression
Depression Support / by Thewolfasylum
Last post
 January 14th, 2020
...See more So I'm back here again posting in these forums I thought stuff had started to progress and things were getting better but yet again life has decided to fuck me. I should just stop expecting anything good to happen to me like why the fuck am I like this? Why won't I ever be good for anyone? I just want to belong somewhere. My birthday is in a few months and I'm probably gonna spend it by myself yet again. Tried to killl myself on new years eve but yet again I failed and woke up in my bathtub, I Juust want one thing to go right I need one thing to go right 😔😔😔
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Today
Depression Support / by Thewolfasylum
Last post
 March 20th, 2020
...See more So today's been hard, having to delete someone offf of social media because you still love them even after you've broken up months ago so I guess this is my new years eve bottle of rum in one hand and a razor blade in the other things are at the point where I don't even care if I live or die anymore all I can think of is the peace aand quiet that may come with my decision I feel so fucking sick and I have nowhere to run anymore
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Feeling alone
Relationship Stress / by Thewolfasylum
Last post
 February 2nd, 2020
...See more Yeah so... I don't really know how my support network got erased and my "friendship" circle is now down to 2 and even then I'm sure they only taalkk to me because they feel sorry for me. everyone's so quick to point that I have people commenting on all the stuff I post but in reality I don't have anyone ii can open up to anymore my best friend is now my ex girlfriend and we don't even speak anymore, I literally have no idea how to make new friends at all or even people I can just socialise with. Since having my house robbed at knifepoint and moving house I still haven't left my home not like I have the money to do so anyway but I really want to get out and make some friends but I'm so scared of rejection or I don't know how to start the process at all. I miss my old life I miss being wanted around or even being invited to something, I don't get along with listeners either... I feel like a lab rat for them sometimes. I just need help before it's too late
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Lost in my head again
Depression Support / by Thewolfasylum
Last post
 December 25th, 2019
...See more So yet again its another Christmas by myself socialising with strangers who seem to give a dam alot more than my friends and family, I never know what to do or say or even how to make new connections without fear of rejection. I really Juust wish I fit in somewhere where I could be myself and have some sort of happiness I'm sick of expecting the worse just to prepare myself for bad situations that inevitablly happen in my loneliness and depression days.
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What am I doing
Depression Support / by Thewolfasylum
Last post
 December 5th, 2019
...See more So I know this is my seccond post today but I'm really struggling tonight, I've got it into my head because I've been alone for so long that nothing is worth fighting for anymore. Things could be so much better if someone in my area or surrounding areas would just give me a chance to grow with a little support. Ii have a few online friends but I can never explain how I truly feel to someone I've never met, this pain is so unbelievable I just want to give up how can someone go from having such a life to being so alone like what even does happiness feel like? what does it feel like for someone to tell youu they love you and actually mean it? Being numb is just my way of life now I guess I have to embrace this emptyness and just accept it for what it is, I'm seriously considering getting arrested Juust so I can go to prison and actually get some sort of social life and maybe even some support, I mean my life now is worse than any prison I can come up with anyway sometimes I just tell myself that if I die and there's some sort of afterlife maybe I could have a second chance at living?
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