What's the Reason?

Sometimes it's easy to deal with everything crashing down. It's easy because usually I can pinpoint exactly what's triggering the meltdown. I figure out what's making me depressed, address the issue: write about it, vent about it, rant about it, et cetera.

The real issue occurs when I seemingly don't have a reason I guess. Like right now. I was totally fine. Then two seconds later I fall into this deep depression for absolutely no reason. It's just so empty and hollow. I wanna cry myself to sleep but my insomnia won't let that happen so I can't even sleep it off. I'm just forced to sit here, wallowing in self pity.

Maybe it's strange that I feel so derpessed when nothing is going on. There's almost always something triggering my depression with all of the BS I have to deal with. But in moments like this, I just feel so alone. Like, nobody would understand because I don't even understand. Call me dramatic but sometimes, it just feels so heavy that the only choice seems to be to just release myself from whatever this void of suffering is. Afterall, isn't it human nature to want to take the easy way out of things? Wouldn't it be easier to just end it all?

I don't know how relatable this is but I hope someone gets it.