Who what when where why how
I have the how, the why, the what. . . . Just don't have the who, when, or where ..
@Selfdestructer Hey - How are you?
Idk - maybe I'm wrong - but this could seem kind of dark. Could just be me though - so If I'm wrong I apologize. I thought I would check in with you. See if you were - ok. You're not alone here.
@mytwistedsoul
"Could be"? It is
@Selfdestructer You want to talk about it? I'm not a listener so I can't pm but I'd be glad to talk with you here. I mean there are rules here of course about it. But - I could give you the hotline numbers and such. I can't promise you any answers but I am willing to talk.
@mytwistedsoul
At the end of my rope, but just figuring out the right timing
@Selfdestructer There is no right time. It does pass - I know it may not seem like it. It may not feel like it but it does pass. I understand you're probably hurting right now. I understand that. Maybe if we talk a little we can tie a knot in that rope - give you better grip to hold on.
@mytwistedsoul
Have the who, what, when, where, why, and how
And I'm scared and panicky
@Selfdestructer
Well, my nemessis is always why...
@softtiissue
The why is always one of the easiest for me it's the where, when ,and who
@Selfdestructer
You are a member since 2017. May I ask you what you had for dinner today?
@softtiissue
Huh?
@Selfdestructer
My question was meant to snap you out of your state of mind. Can you please tell me what you had for dinner today and what you wayched on TV? Please?
@softtiissue
There's nothing to snap out of
@Selfdestructer
Then why write what you wrote?
@softtiissue
Cuz I'm still deciding on the when
@Selfdestructer
I had a good friend who had the same name as me and he did comit it...they declared it an accident because if srvide he could not be buried in a cemetery with a proper ceremony. His brother, his girlfriend and me and all many others we all miss him and remember him. He chose that way, others like me chose to stay and bite the bullet. He just missed what might have come. The choice is yours...
@softtiissue
This is too much. I can't take it anymore
@Selfdestructer I'm not sure where you're from but here's the national number suicide prevention -1-800-273-8255
I really do under stand where you're coming from. But believe me - it is not the answer. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Maybe we can talk about what's making you feel this way. What brought you to the end of your rope? It took alot of courage to reach out and admit what you're thinking. Hold on to that courage - that strength.
@mytwistedsoul
This has been anything BUT temporary
@Selfdestructer Talk to me - What has you thinking this way?
I know - God I know it seems as though it's not. It feels like it's been a life long battle. Just a constant struggle. A war - it seems never ending. But there are ways to get help. There are people who will help you find the light. You don't have to fight this alone. Are there people in your life? Even a pet? There would be people who would miss you. It may not seem like it. But depression lies - it tells us things that just aren't true.
@softtiissue [content removed] I dont believe you. Because if you went thru this... well you would know... you would JUST KNOW that what you are leaning on is not right. You are inciting a responce that puts someones future in jeopardy. Shame on you. Totally shame on you
@Selfdestructer Just wanted to check in. See how you are today.
@mytwistedsoul
In pain. Don't wanna go to work
@Selfdestructer I'm sorry to hear that you're in pain. I know that both physical and mental pain make everything so much worse. Is there anything that helps you with it? I'm sorry - I should probably apologize now - I do tend to ask alot of questions. I don't mean to be rude with them and you're under no pressure to answer. I just like to understand things.
This may sound really weird - but have you ever tried visualization for pain relief?
@mytwistedsoul
Ended up going home mid-way thru the day.
@Selfdestructer I sorry to hear you ended up coming home half way through. That has to be hard. Is the anything to help with the pain?
@mytwistedsoul
Slept when I got home. Pain subsided for awhile... But now that I had a bit of dinner it's back
@Selfdestructer Well it's good it subsided for a little - Yeah? Does it often subside for a bit when you rest? Have you ever tried visualization? I know it probably sounds weird but it does help.
@mytwistedsoul
No
@Selfdestructer Ok so bear with me - I'll have to see if I can find a video or something that can explain better - but for now - What I usually do it lay down some where - bed or couch or heck sometimes laying on the floor feels good. Close your eyes and picture the pain as almost like a black mass - It's huge - sharp teeth - miserable thing. Picture yourself in your mind - At your feet is a big box of balloons. You're going to suck the air out of the pain and fill the balloons with it. The balloons fill and you release them - with each balloon you release a little pain goes with it.
Guided imagery it's called - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgOKKjgqqMc
This is just one - I figure it can't hurt to try - ya know? They have other ones on youtube too. Just maybe give it a try
@Selfdestructer I want to apologize for this battle being brought to your door. I'm sorry - you came here looking for help and this happened. It's not fair to you. This has been an on going problem for the past few months. Although that's no excuse - this shouldn't have happened.
I hope this doesn't stop you from reaching out here. For the most part everyone is usually really nice. so please don't let this stop you.
Be gentle with yourself
@Selfdestructer hey there friend. U dunno me, but i wanna say to just ignore all the baddies that come in here. Twisted is good people. [Edited by FM Erato 9/7/19 to remove unsupportive content] Honestly, its not all safe here like you would expect. But you gotta keep treading because seriously, the good outweigh the bad here. As with any internet forum, you get bad with the good. This is truely a good place to help us all. And you will meet the most amazing people here. It takes a thicker skin sometimes, but if you can try to see the good vs evil, well by golly, you will enjoy it here. Take care, friend. Pretty cool people have your back. Use this space to get well. Not to hurt. If evil comes, ignore it. They like a fight. Do not give it to them. Glad to meet you. Stay strong.
@PerfectStorm426 I edited one of your posts and deleted another. It's against the rules to make inflammatory posts or posts attacking another, regardless of what they posted first. You can see 2 of the accounts that posted to this thread are no longer active (hover your mouse over them).
@Selfdestructer I can delete more of what's in this thread, but if I delete a post, all of the responses that were replied to it will also be deleted. Let me know if that's what you would like.
@Selfdestructer Hey just a check in with you. How are you?
@mytwistedsoul
It's ironic that it's suicide awareness week.
@Selfdestructer It is ironic - you're right about that.
Tbh - I didn't know if you would want to hear from me after last weeks Bs with the other person. I am sorry for that.
I was and still am - glad to see that you came back on here. I'm glad to see that you're still fighting. I know it's hard to keep going day after day. When I you want is just lie down and give up. That's the easy part - ya know? The hard part comes later - it comes for everyone else who cares for you. I know I probably sound like the usual - it's a permanant solution to a temporary problem spokes person. It's just it sounds as though there are people in your life that care for you and you car for them. The pain you would leave behind for them - it's something to think about. Yeah - you would get rid of your pain - but all you're really doing is passing it on to someone else. They will spend the rest of their lives wondering what they did - where they could have done better - wondering how - what - where and why they failed you. Please don't do that to someone. Maybe you can talk with someone - anyone. Someone - can help ease your pain.
@Selfdestructer Hey How are you? Just wanted to check in - kind of let you know we're still thinking of you.
Be gentle with yourself and your thoughts.
@Selfdestructer Hey How are you? I just wanted to stop by and say hey. Let you know that you're in someones thoughts today. I hope you're doing alittle better than you were. But I understand if you aren't. It's ok.
Be gentle with yourself
