Why do I Always Get Hurt?
Why do I feel like Im the only one that sufferers? I know there are other people dealing with far worse things than I but I still feel Im the only one that gets hurt. I try to make my family happy and my happiness and comfort is the cost. I know I shouldnt keep taking crap from them but I love them more than myself. They are all I have. Am I the only one who has to cry to fall to asleep? When were all in a bad situation Im the only one that comes out with scars. Its as if were walking though a maze with traps and they use me as the shield for every pressure plate they step on. I am stressed, tired, and hurting. I wake up and have to think of at least one reason why I should leave my bed. Nothing hurts more than your own family resenting you, for being you.
@Ttana I know how you feel, I literally always put everyone else before myself but whenver i wanna do something for myself its like the world is suddenly against me, but you seem like a great person so try to ignore what your family says about you. i hope things get better for you and if u ever need to talk im here :)
Its hard not to feel guilty when I do something in favor of myself. I give everyone all that I have and try my best to compromise but when I feel like doing something for myself Im looked at as selfish and ungrateful for what I already have. You know the saying theres always someone who has it worse than you? Does that mean only the person with the worst of it is allowed to feel unhappy? How does it help me or my mental state to know that people struggle more than I do? Is it wrong of me to think like this? Im always the one apologizing. Im always the one taking the blame. I cant fight back because itll only make the situation worse, but I feel weak when I just stand there and take it. Im always smiling but am always unhappy.
To avoid confrontations I have to pretend Im never upset and act like Im the most cheerful person in the world. The very rare times when I slip up and show my negativity only results in being reprimanded. I show concern and its none of my business. I am visibly uncomfortable and its not a big deal. I express my dislike of something and I should just be grateful that I have anything. I cry so Im weak and foolish.
Sorry for having feelings. Sorry for having opinions. Sorry for worrying for you.
@Ttana
I guess I can understand how you feel better than most people here because that is too relatable with me. I know family pressure can be too difficult sometimes, it even takes the purpose of life out of it. I used to feel as keeping my mom and dad happy is the soul purpose of my life but whatever I do I could just never make them happy. It's like I could never match their expectations whatever I do.
If I say the truth, I gave up at last. I said them please don't expect anything from me, I don't know if I am even capable of fullfilling the most basic needs of life. Please don't think that my confidence is down or ,I am depressed, I am just fed up of trying to fulfil these expectations. So please let me do what I like and I am sure whatever I do atleast I won't blame you for anything. And then I moved to college far away from my home. And the things are going smooth for me. I just talk to my parents once in a while and we don't talk much about what should I do. It's just that I tell them what I am doing and we are happy now.
So I would suggest that whatever you feel or whatever you wanna do, just pack the largest amount of confidence you can have at a time, go to them and speak up everything and let the rest time decide. Well this may not work for you, but I am telling this because it worked for me.