You can rant here

My boss has little to no sympathy for my anxiety. She tells me to "pull my big girl panties up" when I get stressed out. I think I need to leave this job. There is little to no training and so you constantly get yelled at over things you did not know. Things that you think you are doing for the good of the business turn out to be wrong and you get yelled at and MAYBE get information on the proper way to do it. It's to the point where I either wont do anything or I stand there and stress out on what to do...then I take that anxiety with me and spend my whole night at home worrying. She picks a scapegoat for a few weeks and harps on that person and I happen to be the one right now. I take the job home with me and I feel like I ruin the rest of my household with my stress. It's impossible to balance my work and home life because I get constant texts and emails regarding my job. I can understand an occasional email but its to the point where I cringe when I check my phone. The emails are generally admonishing the group of us or some sort of reprimand over protocol made up in her head at the moment of an incident that we should have magically known. Today my husband heard me getting admonished by her on the phone and he became upset and told me this is not healthy. I'm currently looking for a job but afraid that since I'm the "whipping post of the month" that I will be fired first. I just want the stress to stop...I'm crying the whole time I'm home, my heart races on my way to work and now my hair appears to be falling out possibly from stress. I'm just so desparate to stop feeling this way I dont know what to do to make it stop.

Feel like crying and it doesn't matter anymore.

i have headache. going through today exhausts me eventhough i didn't do much. I have 1st semester exam next week. it's study week now. i can't focus on my studies rn, though. i can't even focus on what people are saying. i feel useless and guilty over some stupid mistakes from the past. i really hate myself rn. i don't wanna function today.

uuGHHHHH i just feel like im going backwards.

everytime i feel like im getting somewhere with my life, there is something that just messes everything up. I just want to love myself and be happy like everyone else but i just can't. I feel like I'm going to explode I can't keep doing this anymore...😞

There was an exam today, and the exam seems like it makes or breaks your grade, so if you flunk it, you fail the class. I have a not-so-good friend that I am not close to, and he forgot about this exam today. He is somewhat of a prick, and likes to pretend his opinions are facts, and rides on a high horse. Why am I stressed? I'm stressed because I am hoping he doesn't get a chance to make up the test, so he can fail the entire class. He needs a fat slice of humble pie, and he won't get it if he gets away with missing this exam that he completely forgot about since he normally skips class so often.

Any message I sent him that might help his chances of passing this exam in a makeup, or late attempt allowed possibly considered by the professor, I regret already. The asshole even asked me if I even was able to finish it myself since I was in the class at the time, and I enjoyably said 'yes, and with time to spare'. But here's hoping the professor doesn't provide leniency on missing the most important exam of the semester . That *** has it coming.

Ive just started college to major in Agriculture, Im taking very hard math classes.

My mom had gotten mad at me for staying out late, so when I asked her for school options she called me a loser pot head and said she didnt want to give me support. Ive been staying at my dads and Ive noticed she never felt bad about it, but tried to give me blame for bizarre things I could easily disprove.

Ive noticed neither of my parents listen to me the way I want them to. Any simple conversation turns into a debate or something. I feel misunderstood, and they each have something good to look forward to after our constant miscommunications.

My boyfriend refuses to shower, brush his teeth, or go to bed on time. Thats how hes always been, and that scruffy look attracted me to him so I must be a hypocrite. Dating someone else would be too heavy of expectations and Major Anxiety.

He looks at me like a bitch and makes comments about how I start problems all the time. I cant tell if I do, but I know him making it clear about how he thinks of me doesnt help. I hear these songs about guys with girlfriends thatre so unhappy with them, and I feel awful thinking thats me. But when he victimizes himself, I think thats the only reason he stays.

I know- I know that I have tons of negative qualities, but I just want the people most present in my life to acknowledge me the way I want them to. I feel like I cant connect with them as much as I try.

I have written about ranting before...there was an author died of cancer called James Clavel. In his Tai Pan/Noble House/Gai Jin sagas there was a family "curse tree" in the back garden where everyone will go and curse and curse away at that old tree...

Everyone said go curse at the tree, it will taje anything...

One day the tree was struck by lightning and consumed by fire...it could no longer take any cursing or ranting anymore...

So I do not wish to rant anymore...

I feel like I am alone. All of my friends say they are there for me but I feel like they aren't truly there. I am starting to push people away because I am scared I am going to be to broken for someone. I want things to be back to the way the use to be but I know they won't because so much has changed. For the better, yes. For my mental health no.

I feel like Ive hit rock bottom.

My girlfriend left me for my best friend, two weeks after we moved out together, and I lost the house as a result. Im not mad at her she was right to do it and I actually support them, theyre my best friends, but he was worried Id try to steal her back so now neither of them talk to me.

The rest of my friends were mostly in her family, so now that she doesnt talk to me they feel like they shouldnt. I lost all my friends and I only blame myself but that doesnt make it less lonely.

Im back living with my drunk mom and I find myself getting high every single day just to fall asleep, but its most of the day.

The one person whos always been there for me just died of an overdose.

I know half of this probably doesnt make any sense but Im just so frustrated. In summary: I have, not exaggerating, 2 friends. The one person Ive ever cared about romantically left me. I lost my house and Im back with a mom I cant stand to be around. One of the most important people in my life just died.

Im so tired

The stupid forum won't let me post my honest emotions right now so everything is just fine and dandy. I'm not totally on the verge of a complete emotional breakdown and desperate for help and have nowhere else to go. Everything's a big bowl of cherries.