You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
I feel like i can no longer talk about me, what's bothering me, my thoughts, worries, stupid feelings, sensless thoughts, nothing, i have to once again be the strong one, the one who listens to and fixes your issues while i just bury mine
I just want to pause and stop my brain from thinkjng
i keep reading about stuff on the internet abt ‘taking action’ but I just can’t. I am able to plan to take action but unable to actually do it.
I have lost interest in everything I used to love
reading… writing
i want to play basketball again but I don’t have the energy to wear the attire and walk 20 min to the court…. *** I don’t even have the energy to think what to wear in this cold freezing weather…
I feel like I have lost motivation in the subject I am studying in uni. Feels like I won’t make it anywhere in life. I feel ashamed being a psych student and not being able to help myself. I feel stupid when ppl expect me to be able to cope with my feelings knowing that I am a psych student and I must ‘know the ways’
i wanted to learn a language so I joined free classes but they happen so early in the mornings I haven’t even gone to one
i have no friends
I just want to fly back home to my parents
i feel like a looser
i feel like I am just wasting my youth and my parents resources
i am in second year of university…. And I already feel like I can nvr make it through
i feel weak
i want to be able to read again but it is so tiring
i want to learn how to play an instrument but don’t want to buy one yet coz I dunno when I will lose interest… I can’t afford to buy an instrument and then not want it
i feel so stuck
unable to help myself
nexr year in uni is gonna be harder academically as well… I am so scared to come back
it feels like I will nvr get better
i feel crippled
i am terrified of who I am
i am unable to be optimustic
I am so tired
i swear I am trying
trying to make friends… trying to indulge in hobbies,,, trying to self-care
but I am unable to do 100% in either
i get tired after trying too many small talks or trying to make plans
I feel guilty for wasting time if I spent the whole day doing self care or nothing at all
i feel terrible for being so unproductive
I feel terrible
i just want everything to stop
i want to run away but I don’t know where
i want to fight it but I don’t know how
I'd like to give my dad some prayer. It's a weekend, but my dad worked...8hrs? He's tired. He didn't get to rest today. He didn't get to go out today. Instead he's always working. Also his teeth still hurts the dentist caused his teeth to hurt. He's also tired and doesn't want to work tomr, but he will.
So. Dear God, watch over dad. He's a bit tired. Help him get some rest. Help ease his mind. May he get through a work day with spirit. May happiness come to him. Amen.
Aaaaa frick meee I don’t even deserve to be here so tired of myself
I'm just really mad. I keep coming to the conclusion that my parents don't give a flying piece of poo about any of my school achievements, any of my extracurricular duties or needs, or anything i do, really, unless i'm doing it wrong. They're so quick to jump into an hour long lecture about every mistake I've made and how rude I come off (including how "b__chy" my natural voice sounds to them), but when I show them how good I've done on a test or something they just say someyhing like "keep it up, thats what we know you can do." It's never "I'm proud of this thing you did" or "I'm impressed, good job." They just expect me to give them good grades forever, and I've gone out of my way to make sure ive had good grades for so much of my life to avoid getting in trouble that they dont see the work i put in to get it. but no matter what i try to get good grades, even if it doesnt matter to them, because my brains just wired to be a perfectionist now and it feels bad to stop
Whenever they talk to me it's like they're accusing me. I can't have a notmal conversation woth them and then they say "I hate them" because i try not to willingly talk to them. Every conversation its just them preaching and lecturing me while I dont talk and if i move my face or do any movement that could be perceived as negative, they pull faces at me and scream and yell and insult me and call me names. Then i cry and they mock me and call me pathetic and a baby and punish me. this is how every "conversation" with them goes. theyre so immature and no one knows it except me, because if i told people how ridiculous they act no one would believe me.
I cant talk about anything ever with them, because they just turn it into an argument or lecture and talk over me, and if i try to talk they tell me im a b--- and to stip interrupting them. Most of the conversations we have are them just talking at me with no way for me to interject, and they wonder why i never want to be around them.
It's Monday. I did this so far.
Wake up noon, peacefully!!
Reply to my neighbor's text to baby sit!!
Watch tv/go play game/listen to music!! Relaxe/Procrastinate!
Make soup (gather ingredients, boil pasta, cut carrots) very spicy minestrone soup, minus vegetable!!
It's 3pm (I can do mini chores: throw garbage out, move clothes into my room)
@tealBear2472
I'm happy, looking back on this babysitting day.
2pm - wash hair
3pm - make tuna spread
4pm - read about tb testing, send HR mail to renew permit, and check location of tax packet
5pm - movement break/stretch
6pm - finish excel course on linkedin and the motivation course
7pm - dinner/tv
aksdfslkdj
@tealBear2472
5pm - paint nails instead of movement.
Need to do 2pm, 3pm,
Slept at 4am-12 today : o, baad sleep hygiene. Tonight, I sleep at 11am.
1pm - make tuna salad
2pm - haircut + blowout
4pm - transition home, snack,
5pm - Netflix
6pm
7pm
8pm
9pm
???? need creation/physical/thinking
@tealBear2472
I'm craving a narrator like a podcast.
I realize the craving for something with real life practicality when I chose a random youtube from Haircut Blowout Professor.
I learned I need to clean my hairbrush once a month!! With soap!
Sooo craving quick information.
@tealBear2472
*at end of night. When I crave conversation/thinking. like when babe calls me.
@wonderousSigns7 I feel so lonely right now, my birthday is coming up in three days and I don't know how to handle this, I recently cut my hair and it looks horrible on me, why does everything look bad on me? and tried to love my appearance and i was able to do it but then again.. these damn thoughts have to come back i wonder what's wrong with it? What if I'm ugly to some? ya.. god, it doesn't matter,,
I feel angry with myself and sad because I have no motivation? Am I a lazy piece of ***? I get distracted so easily, maybe if i were not here these things disappear? ,, why these thoughts have to come back... I feel pressured to have to improve but I don't even know where to start, I want you to listen to me but no one will understand, no one will and they tell me not to do it but why can't I do it? Why can't I just change my appearance, be a little more masculine... damn dysmorphia...
Am I really good for people? even though I try to be the best person, change my imperfections even so... even so, I see myself stagnant, I always stagnate, I was fine and having to remember the past... you don't know how horrible it was, because I can't do anymore nothing
I ask too much ? I don't want to be a bad person, left alone , hurt someone,, I've changed after what happened, but... people look at that? because... because everything must be so complicated, I don't want to be here , damn future... damn past, even if I try, they keep chasing me...