feeling like i'm living a hollow life
Everything seems like it;s already happened, nothing gives me thrill, i'memotionless half the time. nothing is interesting anymore. I don't want to go to work most mornings, i just want to lie in bed and sleep. its hard to motivatemyself to eat.
Not that it's good by any means, but it's comforting to know I'm not alone right now. I feel much the same. I dropped out of my study today, canceled my health insurance (cosI can't afford it and would welcome sickness or suffering anyway). My marriage of three years may as well be an illusion. Right now I'm in bed alone, while my wife does what she does every day, plays gta online with her hundred admirers and ignores me. I'm so damn morbid, I can't even bring myself to eat. You are not alone. Depression is a whore. It can take all desire away from you to even bother trying to survive. Stay strong
@FrootLoopsnGravy It seems like honestly the main stressor of your life right now is your wife, who should never be your reason for depression. You just want to talk to her, but she is busy playing video games, and that's not a healthy relationship at all. Have you tried talking to her about how that makes you feel unwanted and unneeded? I believe the lack of communication between you two can be taking a toll on your mental and emotional health. It seems like you are also jealous of her and her admirers. I was kind of confused, did you mean online admirers, or in real life friends? Either way, perhaps you could ask her, if they are real life friends, to have dinner with some of her friends. Getting to know your partner's friends and liking them is a great way to build a relationship between two people because a sense of approval is everything to human beings. Just having her know that you approve of her friends is a big deal for her and for your relationship. Overall, I think the lack of communication needs to improve. You can't solve anything without telling someone what hurts you right? Stay strong, stay confident, and try to talk it out with your wife :) Deep breaths, you got this :)
@myownfire It just seems like you are overwhelmed and bored with life, if I'm reading you correctly. Perhaps you need to take a vacation. Take a few days off of work maybe and do something you want to do, not something society wants you to do. Some of the most important things to do as a human being in this quick moving, un-nurturing society is to participate in self-care, whether that be riding a bike down a trail, playing video games, or kicking back watching a movie with a glass of wine and some chocolate, you need to find the coping method or simply the activity that works for you to calm you down and give you your own space for a while. Studying for my Bachelor's in Social Work, the one thing I keep hearing in my classes is that if you don't self-care, you're going toburnout. That doesn't just apply to social workers, but to everyone. Everyone needs "me time", or they will simply become overwhelmed and bored with life and feel like they are stuck in a boring, uninteresting life. Try something that you enjoy doing, and I hope that your mood improves :)
That sounds incredibly difficult to deal with. May I ask, have you explored therapy or medication options? I ask largely because it sounds like the depression has gotten to the point where you could definitely use some help in fighting it. Also, please don't hesitate to reach out to any of the Listeners here.