just hanging on
I feel like Im just living life with barely any meaning. Just holding on because I have to. I feel numb and the only true pleasure I can give myself is thinking about finishing school so I can work then move out to live alone and Ill never have to face any family or friends. I wouldnt really say Im bored w my life but rather more just exhausted and drained. Its just the same stuff, waking up every morning lying in bed for 10 - 20 mins trying to mentally prepare myself for another school day. But I can kind of feel myself getting deeper and deeper as if Im slowly slipping.
I can relate to that, only I am in my 50s and am ready for it all to be over. Not as in taking my own life more as in if it ends tomorrow then so be it. I try to think of how to change things, how to make things better, but I always come back to the fact that I wasted my life and time waits for no one. My advice is to face the world, seems like you are trying to get away from your current issues and that is ok, don't be afraid to take risks. I recently read that a person should strive to do what makes them uncomfortable and I am coming to the conclusion that if I had heard (and listened) to this advice years ago, maybe I would have led a different life. As it stands, tomorrow is all you have and it is not promised. Yesterday is gone, dismiss it, learn from it, etc. do what you have to do to move forward. To move forward takes steps, some small, some leaps. But you can do it...
@ruffneckred
I have just read your response over and over again. I am 16 y/o and I truly do value your advice, it has contributed to my perspective and I feel like that was something I needed to read so I can reshape my approach to my daily life. Thank you alot.
Glad to hear it, as a 16 year old I was a know it all kid that didn't listen to anyone, turns out that was the case in most things for way to long. Recognizing the need for change and seeking help is a huge step forward. I found value in the book by Dr. Joynce Webb about Childhood Emotional Neglect, mostly in the "why am I this way" avenue. From there I moved on to Twelve Rules for Life.... and No More Mr. Nice Guy. along with a zillion internet words. As far as success "fixing" myself, the jury is still out but I think I have made strides. Good luck
You might try meditating. Learn TM, or take the Happiness Program, and I think you'll find yourself with a lot more energy to take on your daily tasks.
Best of luck to you, it sounds like you're really struggling -- also remember things will end up working out, even if there is a crap period in the middle :/
