my family hates me

I, consistent honor student since in kindergartne suddenly became an irregular student in college where it is considered as the most crucial part of our future. My family expected so much from me and were proud that i got a scholarship grant for 4 years and expected that I would graduate immediately because they think i'm that smart. Truth is I'm not and I never was, I always had to work my butt off studying in school and at home not taking breaks for the fear of failure. There's this song which has a lyrics "if i fail i fall apart" and that's what is currently happening to me right now. I had to face the truth last june that i had two incomplete grades and i won't be able to graduate on time. I fell into a slum thinking that why were my peers able to pass and I didn't? What would my family think about me? Are they gonna abandon me? What would other people say? What will happen to my life now? I honestly don't know but despite that I still told my sister and guess what happened? She ignores me now and I can feel that she's irritated whenever she sees me. It hurts so fucking much but I can't really blame her after all everything's my fault. I feel like a huge burden to them, a trash which should be thrown out of the house, a worthless person, someone that shouldn't exist. I don't even know how to function normally anymore. My head is full of negative thoughts and I just can't seem to stop thinking of how I should *** my life. I'm so scared. I don't even know if I could focus on studying as an irregular student with this but I don't have a choice. I can't even reach out to my friends cause I'm scared to be a burden to them and they also have problems of their own. These past few days I've been crying myself to sleep and when I wake up I cry again same routine when I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. My eyes hurt so much and now I just can't seem to release tears anymore I think my tear ducts have dried up ahshhahaha. I'm sorry I just want to tell this here because I can't really talk to anyone about this.