nobody cares
I’m sick of how much hope I have just to then look back and analyze all these situations and when I finally look at it from a logical perspective, no one cares. I have spent an embarrassingly long amount of time convincing myself that I’m loved by those who, in reality, have 0 interest in knowing me and even less, loving who I am. I am not loved. I am not supported. I am not trusted. I am not cared about. No one cares about me. And frankly, the older I get, the less I care about what others think. I used to put so much effort into being around people that showed 0 interest in me and it is so draining and soul-killing. I looked around today and realized literally nobody cares about me. Maybe I don’t care about anyone either? Idk, I would just like 1 real friend. Just 1 best friend. Why is that too much to ask for? If the universe doesn’t even want me to have just 1 close best friend, then I don’t want to be a part of this world. I was not meant for it. If I am meant to be alone, then I want to be completely alone, in peaceful solitude, not around others who would never bother to show me any affection when I’m always kind to others. It doesn’t make sense. I believe I put out an energy of kindness into the world whenever I get the chance, but the universe does not reward me with others showing me kindness back. Can anyone explain this to me? It seems like everyone in my social areas have made a friend, and I’m the one that ends up standing alone, whereas everyone else has a partner. I’m not even talking romantically, just in terms of friendship. Why does no one want to be my friend? I try to talk to others but they just don’t want to stick around. I truly believe there must be something wrong with me or maybe my voice is unpleasant to hear or something in the way I look deters people. I just can’t think of anything of my personality that would shoo people away. I never show off, I never talk too much, I never spread negativity. I don’t understand what it could possibly be. My whole life has been like this and I’m growing sicker of it, day by day. At this point, I’m used to being alone and feeling alone even in a group where I’m just simply not cared about as much as someone else in the group is, but I would really much rather be completely isolated in a desolate area far away from all countries and just forget about my cold, cruel, traitor of a past. It would save me so many tears and so much emptiness. But aside from that, it just seems like no one can ever care enough about the wellbeing of humanity as a whole. There are one too many people who are so self-obsessed that this behavior even though I can observe it, I cannot stand it. I literally cannot stand it I don’t understand how I’m supposed to live several decades longer expected to tolerate this behavior. Am I just not empathetic enough? Am I too empathetic? I don’t even know what I should change about myself anymore.
Nothing man.
tell me something about yourself? It can be anything be it a nickname or anything random, I'll start; when I drink tea, I slurp it really loud on purpose no matter the place and occasion.
@ysellian Something random? I still don't know how to whistle.
SAME BRO
I don't know how to either 😔 I gave up on learning it
How do u cope with things? Play any games? What kind of music do u listen to?
it’s okay bro here’s to being non-whistlers 🥂
and yeah sometimes i’ll play games but just like iphone games or even club penguin. the original game shut down years ago but there’s a fanmade version now, it’s exactly the same as the original so that’s kind of my comfort game, the nostalgia feels great. and music is so helpful, i think i’d go crazy if i couldn’t listen to music. i like pretty much a little bit of everything, minus country, gospel, and most modern pop and modern rap. i usually go through phases w my music, right now i’m very into anything that sounds like 90s alt rock, and most of the stuff from the 70s. what about you?
@peaceandblessings I am sorry you’re feeling alone and betrayed. Being frustrated by it, not wanting to tolerate it, might actually be a good thing. It means you care about yourself deeply. YOU care about you! You have real human needs for connection with others. So you can be your best advocate. Consider these things. First, people do care primarily about themselves. Some will turn that into a whole moral story about good and bad and bla bla bla. But if we focus on that less and realize that people have their own concerns and so do you, then you can use that as a “connection.” That is, just accept it. You then can have energy to forgive them somewhat, and you are not using your energy fighting them. Second, consider that the Universe cares about your emotional life as much as a rock might. The universe, in my view ain’t some magical thing that will respond to your will if only you use the force Luke, just like Yoda tells you. That will give you energy you otherwise questioning or blaming the totally unfair universe. You may protest that it still leaves you alone. It does, but it’s a starting point. You can learn more deeply about YOU and take on the job of learning social skills that will attract others. Again, not magic. Not about exuding a particular magical energy. It’s mostly about appearing friendly and safe and someone who is open to be caring and cared about. You might argue that you already tried that, but is your body language really welcoming when the story in your head is, “no one will like me”, and “the universe has cheated me”? In short, change your internal story, you ARE worth getting to know, INTRINSICALLY you are worth getting to know because you are human and have feelings…not because of what you have or don’t have, but because you are willing to risk getting to know another human. Humans need other humans. But it takes work. Will you work at it? To blame the universe or the nature of human beings is a huge mighty task that might be a little like trying to will the moon to fly into the sun.
@hopefulPond6108 Thanks for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate your point of view, but I have to admit, I did not feel listened to or understood by your words. If anything, they felt cold and not very comforting. Your tone felt a bit motivational-speaker-esque instead of that of a real person, and I get it, you take a solution-focused approach, but I don’t want more people to tell me what solutions work for me. How can you propose a “solution” when you have no idea what I’ve been through or who I am? And I think instead of focusing less on how much people care about themselves, especially at the time we’re in, it’s highly crucial now more than ever to be concerned about how self-obsessed a person can become. It’s literally leading to the end of every living population of this planet we both live in. And it’s things like what you said that make me want to live even less in this world, things like “just accept it.” I refuse to accept the lack of humanity that I notice is disappearing more and more each day. I don’t care about all this “self-care” aka recycled toxic positivity mumbo jumbo. Like dude… the majority of living species will be wiped out and everyone's so nonchalant about it all. There are more than enough solutions that we can take but it’s the fact that no one who could’ve done something about it ever cared enough to do something, because they were just too obsessed with themselves, that is what upsets me deeply. Obviously, I can’t speak for you, I’m just stating everything I’ve observed. Some people can become so self-obsessed that it ruins their ability to make a healthy friendship and I really think I’ve been around people like that for too long that it’s made me terrified of seeking new friends. I’ve been really hurt and I accept and honor my pain. I don’t ignore it, I listen to my soul when it’s in pain. It's trying to tell me something that consciously I might either not have noticed or I had but I suppressed due to shame. I think the common advice of forcing yourself to shut out your thoughts and change your inner dialogue is so unhealthy. It’s like this for a reason, and all I wish for is to understand why it’s like this and for someone to listen to me, not tell me to shut my voice or change but just to make me feel like I’m not a complete loony. Not just someone saying I’m valid but truly making me think differently so that I can feel valid within. It's when they tell you to shut out your thoughts and to change how you think about a situation that can get you potentially trapped in a toxic situation. Positivity is great but when you use it to ignore a very toxic situation it becomes just as harmful. And I know saying “no one cares about me” to myself negatively impacts me, but that’s the problem, I can’t change it. I just don't understand how. I don't have power over these self-loathing thoughts. Anyone who just tells me to “change my inner monologue” but doesn’t explain how is just pointless. But at the same time, I don't think I completely loathe myself. In fact, I like a lot of things about myself. But as I said, none of the people in my circles care to share with me the way I would with them. Or it's the exact opposite, they'll use me or speak to me but not listen to me at all or ignore me or not give me the nurture and attention that I show them. That's my issue.
@peaceandblessings I agree. I thought to myself after I posted this that I must have sounded like a motivational speaker. And I also agree there are those who sell “positivity”. Not what I meant to do. Also I don’t mean to tell you to shut off your brain. You are right, human self obsession and greed are driving us and the planet to extinction. And so true I didn’t say HOW to do what I was proposing. What I’ve learned is there ARE realities and then there is my PERCEPTION of reality. That perception comes through limited senses. My thinking is also part of my perception. It keeps me safe, but if I’m not attuned to its limitations it can end up limiting my opportunities to experience other things. By challenging the stories in my brain, I have a much richer world. Not at all about sugar coating. How did I come to these conclusions? Mindfulness practice was one, and before that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Take a look at this 20 minute TED talk if you’re interested https://youtu.be/H1T5uMeYv9Q
@peaceandblessings Maybe the people you are with aren’t going to fill your needs. I have more people in my life that aren’t good at connecting with me than people who are. It’s frustrating as heck. But I can’t change them. It’s not something about me. It’s them. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t people I can connect with. Just saying, don’t get caught in thinking the world is in one fixed state or that you are somehow not capable.
@hopefulPond6108 Hi, thanks for your replies! Honestly your previous reply wasn’t wrong or anything, I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be hearing any kind of advice. I was still recovering from a really nasty panic attack and all I wanted to do was break all my furniture and rip everything apart. I’m much more calm now and doing sort of better, just overwhelmed. I really appreciate any effort someone makes to respond to any post I make, it really does mean a lot, specially since as of late I just have no one to talk to about my issues. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was attacking you, that wasn’t my intention. Thank you for sharing your insights.
Honestly I haven’t felt happy in a long time unless I’m just distracting myself from my reality, or as you put it, my perception of what is real. And perhaps a lot of stuff I think is real isn’t real, and it’s definitely stuff I take too seriously, but in the moment it’s horrifying and it feels really bad. What’s awful that I’m now realizing is I’ve been through this same extreme low like exactly a year ago around this same time of year, and the year before that too. And yet when it comes back around, it’s like worse than when it last occurred. It feels like there is no end to it. And I hear you, I shouldn’t think that my life is going to remain a permanent state, that I’m not capable of feeling differently. But right now, I really do feel incapable and it’s the worst, every day seems to be the same, and I just wish a miracle could happen to me so I could change my toxic ways of thinking and doing things. I’ve been putting off taking care of my mental state, my needs, for a long enough time that I think I recently went past a limit. I just keep putting off everything that needs to get done, no matter what. I tell myself how I’ll feel so much better once I get it done, but for the life of me, I cannot get anything done.
And you’re right, we can’t change other people. I dream of being around people who I feel truly seen by. I feel at my most alone I’ve ever been in my life, currently. Everyone that I feel comfortable around, always end up disappearing. I don’t have a single person that I feel truly comfortable around anymore, to be my most real self. And when people in my life would say they’d be there for me, hear me out, when I’d open up about an issue, they would give me some support, then they were gone. It’s like we never even had that deep conversation. They disappear, they don’t check in, and I’ve had moments where I’d be very vulnerable where it seems like the other person should show some more consistent concern, but they never bring up those things ever again. I’m just tired of being abandoned constantly. Maybe that’s part of the reason why I feel so incapable of change, because I always end up in the same hurtful place. And thank you also for the ted talk, I saved it to a playlist of other ted talks I’ve been meaning to see.
@peaceandblessings
It's okay here you are safe to talk to any listener!
There is no need to change anything about yourself. When you stop trying to change you find peace and that actually begins to attract people to you.
But that doesn't make the rejection right now less painful.
What does is realizing that there are people who do care right here. I have answered every single post that I have seen from you. I will continue to do that. For right now, focus on the positivity that you can find here. @peaceandblessings
