peaceandblessings Member Profile

had a massive crying episode over my ex before writing this

Depression Support / by peaceandblessings

December 14th, 2025

...See more Just been really going through it you guys.. This month means so much to me now. Two years ago in december a life changing moment occurred. I post about him all the damn time and I just wish I could move on but I can’t. This is the time when a huge shift happened in our dynamic, I would deny it initially but he never did, of course until I finally stopped denying and then he left me because of how real our connection was and how afraid that had made him, that he ran into hiding and into a “normal, easy, simple” relationship. He was the first person who had ever fallen in love with me and he was the first person I ever fell in love with. He had said to me early last year that he had waited since december of the previous year to tell me that he loves me. And I’ve just been thinking about that moment a lot. Him leaving me just really changed me, I mean I have truly not been the same since then and I don’t know what I can do anymore. He might not talk to me anymore and he might be with someone else now but I still wonder if he thinks about that moment and others the way I have. If he has ever felt regret for leaving so abruptly the way he did. What’s even weirder is how I saw his name randomly engraved in a desk at the library on campus just a few days ago, and I had never seen his name etched like that anywhere before, and never on these desks. And my friend who knew him had also had a weird dream with all of us together, but he had hurt my feelings in the dream like in real life. Just the timing of it all is so weird, how these events lined up perfectly with what occurred between us just two years ago, and the feelings we had both caught back then, and how our history still lingers throughout the little things, even if we’re different people now and it’s been 2 whole years.

it's been two years...

Relationship Stress / by peaceandblessings

November 11th, 2025

...See more It was two years ago when we met. I've been through many stages of the grieving process, but this process has been very hard and heavy, and I feel so burnt out and exhausted from it. Two years ago I met who would become my best friend and who I thought was possibly the love of my life. Things happened and we completely cut contact a year ago. It's been a year and a half since he abandoned me, but I'm still trying to reconcile with that. I see he's been in a relationship for months now and I'm starting to come to terms with the possibility that he may have dated several other people after leaving me, too. I'm just unable to understand how easy it was for him to do that, to grow attachments and feelings for other people, when I know he was in love with me too, just like I was. How has he not been struggling with lack of desire for others like me? I thought that by now I wouldn't have any feelings left for him, but I still want him back. I still want to love him and adore him because I believe we deserve that chance. But he's moved on. And I've tried dating others, I've tried liking other people, but I just can't. I want to, but this is the first time in my whole life that I'm unable to catch feelings for other people. He's the only one who I've ever loved. And I can't even feel the desire anymore to date others or to even want to get to know others. I literally used to crush so easily before I met him, but ever since then, I have not had a crush or any kind of romantic feelings for anyone. But he's been in a relationship for months with somebody else? I can't wrap my head around it. It's eating me alive how hard it is for me to just let go. I believe he's an avoidant as well, because he abandoned me shortly after admitting he loved me. Right when everything appeared perfect, that's when he started to distance himself until he just ignored me and has never came back after our last conversation, when I asked him for an explanation of what had just happened.

I can't seem to let go.

Depression Support / by peaceandblessings

December 12th, 2025

the grief of still loving someone who isn't gone but is no longer a part of your life

Relationship Stress / by peaceandblessings

October 3rd, 2025

...See more I have thought to myself so many times that I'm over him, I'm happy without him and I can comfortably say I've moved on. But then a feeling comes up or I have a visceral reaction that shows me otherwise. That there is still something deep within my soul that is so attached to him, and doesn't want to let go. But I know it's what I have to do. A little over a year ago, I was broken up with by someone who I thought I could call a best friend for life. It honestly, without exaggeration, felt like I met the perfect match for me, or even someone who I could see being best friends with if no romantic chemistry was there, but it was there, it always was, even when I didn't want to admit it at first. I've become aware since then of all the ways that I was betrayed or not treated very well, throughout our whole relationship. Either way, this person was the only one who made me feel understood more than I ever have in my whole life. I saw so much of myself in him, and I really believe that we are compatible, but we were always a case of "right person wrong time." The grief that I felt from the breakup and from feeling him drift away from me, like he doesn't care about me anymore, was so devastating that it really has come and gone many times. When does the grief eventually stop coming back in waves? Will there always be things that remind me of him? Will I just have to accept that he might come to my mind unexpectedly and sadness will take over? How do you fully move on from someone who once cared about you deeply, made you feel like a star, gave you a new meaning to your identity and your life? I also don't understand how he could have moved on so easily and so quickly. He never once reached out to me, never seemed to wonder about me, and we used to be best friends, or so I thought. But I know for a fact that he saw me with love and sincere adoration for a long time. He wanted me to be his girlfriend, but whenever the time was finally right, it's like he just wouldn't let whatever we had unfold. He told me some of the most personal kinds of stories/secrets that no one shares with just anyone. So I'll never understand how he could feel that safe with me and then run away from me like I'm a stranger to him. It's like someone just plucked all of the memories he had of me out of his brain. I just want an answer as to when and how this suffering I'm going through will stop when it seems to be endless. I appreciate anybody who reads and shares their thoughts or wisdom.

can someone please shake me by the shoulders and scream at me

General Support / by peaceandblessings

July 26th, 2025

...See more hey everyone, hope you're all well! I have so many things I'd like to journal about here on 7cups, but it's all quite overwhelming, and so in this post I'm just going to ask y'all for one thing. You can say it feels like I'm hanging on by the thinnest thread imaginable, and like I'm balancing a precious glass cup with just the tips of my fingers. Can you please write a comment screaming at me to take it easy and that everything is okay and will be okay? I'm only 23 years old and I finally (after many more years than I expected of healing, working through trauma, facing fears, etc) really feel like I'm courageous enough to commit to the life I have always known I've wanted and deserve, but this last bit of hesitation left in my body and the knowledge that time will not wait for me is making me feel the weight of everything I've been mentally preparing for crushing down on me, all at once, and I am TERRIFIED, can anyone with more experience, maturity, and wisdom than me please reassure me that I'm going to be okay? Because I keep thinking, what if I won't be and what if it won't work out? What if this really is it, and I was always going to be too late?

I wish I could write a poem that would bring you back

Poetry / by peaceandblessings

June 20th, 2025

...See more I wish I could write a poem that would Bring you back to me I wish I could write a good poem, at least On this day, one long, painful year ago You stopped talking to me for good Since then, I daydream of you, religiously There's a full moon out tonight, I'm ovulating, and it's been one year, exactly Since I began to rot from your absence Can you feel the pull? The full moon glows on me as it glows on you My heart and my body aches for you, as it did a year ago One year and millions of tears, since then We were at the right place at the wrong time I can barely breathe without your love This grief, all-consuming, all too powerful A whole year gone by, intoxicated by it I filled your absence in every way I possibly could Isn't it ironic how I shared a favorite quote with you, About how in one's absence, your presence is even louder How this made you cry, and now you have proven it true I am never really alone, because your absence is here It started raining as I write this, nature must be showing me Your tears for me, as rainfall, on the same night we parted Guess I was always right, it was too good to be true Our love could never be an even fit For we had to lose one another And love one another, in different times But what's left is an unfinished story Maybe I should make a painting That perfectly resembles what we had I'll just need to make sure to leave it incomplete

i fell in love with a friend…

Relationship Stress / by peaceandblessings

May 3rd, 2025

...See more my heart has gone and fallen in love when it wasn’t supposed to.. but isn’t that how it always is? i have a very special person in my life who i’m like, 65-80% sure, that they don’t value me or want to make time for me as much as i do for them. or maybe they just can’t due to factors out of our control, but i’ve recently become aware of these romantic feelings, and i just want to get them off of my chest. of course im terrified of rejection, but from awful past experience i now know these hard conversations are always best had right when the awareness of these feelings happen. i haven’t heard from this person in days. even tho they said they’d give me a call yesterday. i’m scared that i’ve scared them away bc i did mention over text that i had something i wanted to talk to them about over a call. maybe they somehow know what im going to say already and are avoiding this conversation. bc what other logical explanation is there for them to be silent for days.. i’m feeling a whole mixture of emotions now, so i went ahead and let it out in a poem. here it is. i hope someone here can feel something from it, and maybe even enjoy it. Where have you gone? a poem by peaceandblessings: I spent months, days, years, yearning for this A cliche friends to lovers story I wanted this all my life To stop in the middle of a long walk And have the grand old epiphany of being in love with a friend Now I’m wishing I could go back to the start Because I didn’t know this epiphany would bring guilt Restlessness, and an undying desire to spend every single day with you I want to look ever so sweetly into your eyes and tell you I love you I want to watch a sunset with you I remember seeing the way the stage-lights fell down the side of your face And how your long golden locks perfectly decorate it I remember standing from the side thinking you have Apollo’s beauty But I’m supposed to be casual, we’re only supposed to tell each other funny jokes and compliment each other but not too much I’m supposed to just be your friend The more I’ve tried talking to you The more absent you’re becoming Did I scare you away? Does the reality of being closer with me make you want to run away? Does the possibility that I love you scare you? Can’t you see? You’re the golden retriever to my black cat You, son of Apollo, god of the sun And me, daughter of Diana, goddess of the moon It was always a self fulfilling prophecy No matter how many times I tried to escape It would always, somehow, find me again Even when I was never looking I think I finally understand them now When they would always tell me Love happens when you least expect it

Where have you gone?

Poetry / by peaceandblessings

May 1st, 2025

...See more I spent months, days, years, yearning for this A cliche friends to lovers story I wanted this all my life To stop in the middle of a long walk And have the grand old epiphany of being in love with a friend Now I’m wishing I could go back to the start Because I didn’t know this epiphany would bring guilt Restlessness and an undying desire to spend every single day with you I want to look ever so sweetly into your eyes and tell you I love you I want to watch a sunset with you I remember seeing the way the stage-lights fell down the side of your face And how your long golden locks perfectly decorate it I remember standing from the side thinking you have Apollo’s beauty But I’m supposed to be casual, we’re only supposed to tell each other funny jokes and compliment each other but not too much I’m supposed to just be your friend The more I’ve tried talking to you The more absent you’re becoming Did I scare you away? Does the reality of being closer with me make you want to run away? Does the possibility that I love you scare you? Can’t you see? You’re the golden retriever to my black cat You, son of Apollo, god of the sun And me, daughter of Diana, goddess of the moon It was always a self fulfilling prophecy No matter how many times I tried to escape It would always, somehow, find me again Even when I was never looking I think I finally understand them now When they would always tell me Love happens when you least expect it

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