telling my parents (trigger warning)
Next week i'm finally going to therapy again. I'm terrified because i've been struggling with self-harm and suicidal thoughts (without intent) and I haven't told anyone. My last therapist told me that if I was at risk of hurting myself she'd have to tell my parents since i'm a minor. Back then I wasn't self-harming but I still remember what she said. If I tell the therapist next week about my self-harm (i'm still on the fence about talking about the suicial thoughts), they'll probably have to tell my parents. I feel like if they know then everything will change. I'm so scared that everything will be different and that i'll be monitored all the time or that they'll react really badly to it. It makes me not want to talk about the self-harming with the therapist at all. How do I handle my parents reactions and should I even bring up the suicidal thoughts since I don't have intent? I'm really scared and I feel super alone, since if I tell anyone they'd probably tell my parents. Thanks for reading and if you have any advice I really need it. Thank you
@JJArmada It's a very difficult situation.
I think the problem is, if you don't tell your therapist how you really feel about things then therapy cannot possibly work, and it's pretty much a waste of time going. You might even focus on the wrong things in therapy and make your situation worse in the long term.
A good therapist will understand this, but not all therapists are good at it.
In some circumstances a therapist is allowed to help you with secret stuff like self harm and thoughts of suicide, without telling your parents anything, even if you are a minor. But this depends on the laws and regulations in the part of the world where you are, and it might depend on your exact age, too.
It seems to me one possibility would be to discuss this problem with your new therapist right at the start, by explaining that there is secret stuff you need to deal with (but not saying what it is), and explaining the problem with your parents. Your therapist will be able to tell you what the rules are, and then you can make a decision about how much you feel it's safe to tell.
If your therapist is a good one, I imagine they'll work with you to find a way to make therapy successful without causing your parents to react badly.
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Charlie
@RarelyCharlie
Thank you, you've been really helpful