tired of it

So im in year 10 and ever since school started my life fell apart. I literally feel so depressed and lonely like i have no classes with my friends and i only made one friend so far but it's still awkward and some of my friends i was close to last year became strangers to me and also i have a class with my crush and its double period and i really wanna talk to him but i can't and plus i dont think he'll even like me back like he seems like a player but i can't seem to get over him no matter how hard i try. also i've been feeling so stressed and this year i actually had a goal to try to get my grades up but i always keep losing motivation and my parents tell me how i dont even try and im not good enough but i literally try so hard but they just dont see it and it just always made me look down on myself ever since i was little. Like because of this, I literally lose motivation and hope so easily and i'm not even talented in anything and i lose interest in things easily like idk what i even wanna do in the future and i don't even have that much time left. I just feel like no one cares about my feelings anymore like i literally have no one to talk to about it and i've fallen into a dark state and idk i just feel like giving up on life like people keep saying it's going to get better but whenever i think that it always turns to shit again and sometimes i feel like god hates me and i don't deserve happiness