ugh.
Hi everyone, my name is Bailey, and I just joined this community today and 7cups sometime last week.
I'll be honest, I don't even know what I want help with, but I'm just feeling absolutely awful today.
And by awful, I mean almost completely numb.
I've been struggling with what I think is anxiety and depression or bipolar disorder for a long time, but I've never actually been officially diagnosed (I have my first therapy appointment later on this month, so hopefully I can get that cleared up). A couple of weeks ago, I legitimately thought I was getting better: I had little boughts of depression and still lots of anxiety, but my thoughts were somewhat clear for a while. I had a good weekend this weekend; I got to talk with my sister a lot and I had a lot of fun with her. I watched the new Supernatural episode and absolutely loved it. I had an ok Easter dinner with my family. But then suddenly last night it all just came crashing down and felt what seemed like nothing and everything. I listened to the radio and it soothed me some, but today I'm still feeling nothing.
I'm sitting here at work and I can't concentrate (although that's fairly normal) and I've been having thoughts of self-harm. I don't have a history of it and I know how horrible it is to do to yourself, but..... I don't know. I don't know where to go from here. I would talk to my boyfriend about it, but he's mentioned in the past how he doesn't mind me venting to him every once in a while, but he can't always be a sounding board for me because he has things he has to worry about, too. Plus, we had a fight last night and I'm still irritated with him (Me feeling like this has nothing to do with that fight, though. I was feeling like this before that happened).
I don't know if I want advice or support or what, but I guess any kind of comment would be helpful.
@fightingscot94
Welcome to 7cups and the Depression community Bailey.
Don't worry about any expectations from us - we're here to listen and support you the best we can. Each of us has different experiences, different coping mechanics, different outlooks -- which is what makes this community and site work in my opinion. We each bring things to the site and it's good place to find someone in the "same boat" or just on the "same stream" sometimes.
Pop in any time and share whatever you want. Sometimes things may go a while without a response because people may be trying to sort out what to say, may be afraid to respond out of fear of making things worse, or it may hit too close to home.
You're a strong person - you've reached out to find a diagnosis and you've reached out here too.
There are some cool things that happen on 7cups. There are the exercises that come daily on your growth path. If you look under path you'll find some guides to work through that are quite informative. Plus there are some good listeners here too. The forums are a good place to share and support -- plus there are some fun threads too.
Stay strong... keep reaching....