Feeling of pain and fear of being alone without a girlfriend
Hey all, I am new here and I have been suppressing this feeling in me for a few years now and decided to open up to here instead, so as to not make my family/friends feel burdened by my problems
Just a little background of myself, I am currently a 19 year old with no girlfriend and have been longing for one. I know I am still young but as someone from Singapore, all males have to serve the military for 2 years by the end of their teriary educations. Meaning I will be 22 and still lonely by the time I am done with it.
I have been rejected twice before and right now I have a crush on a girl. Usually when you fall in love it's suppose to be a happy feeling right? However I feel really afraid that I will be rejected and because of that it pains my heart intensely. I feel that I am not good enough for her but I still wanna do my best to improve myself, but the idea of me getting rejected really sucks. I have confidence issues and thus am afraid that I will be dull and boring so I tend not to talk much since it's better to be quiet than to bore someone out. I have read a lot of stuff that confidence is attractive but I am not a very good conversation starter. I am really lost and I do not know what to do.
All I know is this: That I promise to love and be faithful to the girl that I end up with forever. But will anyone accept a guy that is dull? I am trying very hard to change but it's really painful and lonely. Thank you for taking the time to read this post, may your day be blessed! :)
@Justin1998
@Justin1998 from the girl's perspective, I think just being genuine and trying your best is all you can do... I have met a lot of guys who were very confident, but sometimes that almost seems suspicious that they are too confident, like they either think your answer to them asking you out is already decided, or like they have done their routine a few too many times and might have ulterior motives.
There's not just one type of boy out there that girls are looking for. Rejection is really hard in my experience as well, but I think that the best thing you can do is to remember that somebody out there will meet you and appreciate and maybe even find comfort in the same parts of you that you think are dull, boring, or not flashy. Sometimes being kind of average is nice.
Best of luck with the current crush!
@Justin1998
Justin, everyone has different preferences in someone and you don't have to be more outspoken or change yourself - somone will appreciate you for you. I like to think there's someone out there for all of us and I hope you find that someone.
Best of luck!
I do feel like I'm alone in many ways. First and most obvious I have a crush that I am too shy to talk to. I have compared it to a lyric from tools sober "I will work to elevate you just enough to bring you down" when I see her at school I just want to see her and when I have to go home I just wait to go back to school again feeling sad and I want to curl up in a ball and cry but I can't. I haven't cried in years and miss it. Also sometime around midnight by the airborne toxic event I often repeat "you just have to see her, you just have to see her, you just have to see her, you know that she'll break you in two"
I don't know if I like her in the first place. I mean she's nice and all but do I really like her or is It just my instincts telling me I need to repopulate the earth. I hate this. The feeling of realizing that I don't have as much control as I thought, like addiction. I am addicted to porn, trying to get off but it is hard. This is another way I am alone. I can't get help because I don't want to talk to my parents about it and don't really want to talk to anyone face to face about it period. I think the addiction is getting in my head. I have a dirtier mind and get really shy when talking to girls. I also picture girls naked and feel terrible about it but when I try to stop myself reverse psychology kicks in and I do anyways. This ties back into the control thing. I'm sorry
@Gavincarey this isn't how this works is it?