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How do you cultivate curiosity?

User Profile: Gettingbettertoday
Gettingbettertoday March 30th, 2023

I have been told over and over that i need to make friends to be happy.

I simply don't know how to go about this since no one i meet seems interesting at all.

To this i am told i just need to appreciate them more and cultivate curiosity about them, then i will find them interesting. I simply don't know how to control my emotions like that.

Is there a way to turn on Curiosity where none exists?

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User Profile: innateJoy9602
innateJoy9602 March 30th, 2023

@Gettingbettertoday

I think when it comes to curiosity, it’s all about asking questions to get to know the other person to try to find a common ground. If you ask questions till you find something in common maybe you will find them more interesting then!💜

User Profile: bestVase7265
bestVase7265 March 31st, 2023

I am not sure that you necessarily need friends to be happy. Or at least not tons of friends. Different people define happiness differently.

As far as curiosity goes, what makes your curious about life to begin with? That is usually a good starting point. @Gettingbettertoday

2 replies
User Profile: Gettingbettertoday
Gettingbettertoday OP March 31st, 2023

@bestVase7265

I feel like I have done everything I can. Nothing intrigues me.

1 reply
User Profile: bestVase7265
bestVase7265 April 1st, 2023

When you are deep in the hole, it certainly feels that way. Everything feels quite flat and you struggle to feel any moments of peace.

It helps to realize that you aren't looking for big things as you get going. You are looking for five minutes here and there. One day it might be something that you eat. Another it might be a cloud in the sky or a bird.

I know it feels like those little things can't count for anything. It is what your brain tells you. But they can start to build up if you recognize them. @Gettingbettertoday

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User Profile: hopefulPond6108
hopefulPond6108 April 1st, 2023

@Gettingbettertoday If you enjoy movies, you are curious about someone. Movies are about the characters. We ask questions when we watch movies. Who is this character, why did they do what they did, what will they do next?


Being interested in real people isn’t as easy. We can’t but a ticket, sit back and just watch. We have to interact and there is a cost to us such as risk, effort, and sometimes, yes even boredom.

People are probably driven more on emotion than facts. If you pay attention to their emotion as the “story” about them, that’s a great thing to be curious about. Just as we pay attention to the thoughts and feelings of characters in movies in order to follow the story, we can do that with real life people.

A cool and safe place to practice building curiosity is with ourselves. Mindfulness practices, which can involve meditation, but also importantly non-meditation activities can be great ways to learn about our internal states. Why is that important? Because when we learn to pay attention to ourselves it becomes easier to pay attention to others. This is hard to explain in a few sentences. It’s more about paying attention to feelings than to facts. And in this sense, because you are paying attention, by definition, you’re being curious. Something really cool about this too is you can pay attention in short bursts. It’s like low effort/low cost/short term curiosity, but with big benefits.


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