How to feel better by myself?
I'm a junior in college, and I've been trying so hard to branch out and make friends since I got here. However, I have been consistently betrayed, hurt, and disappointed by the people in my life, and it's getting to the point where I feel like it must be my fault. Maybe I'm just not meant to be a social person.
So, I'm trying to just be by myself for a while, and to not force any new relationships, but I'm finding it really difficult. Whenever I'm alone, I get so unbearably sad, and I don't know what to do to make it go away.
Does anybody have any suggestions on how to distract myself from loneliness and make myself more comfortable with solitude?
I know you're not going to be a fan of me saying this but, solitude isn't the best. I'm not saying to wave to anyone that walks but, solitude... that'd be harder than you think. I'm a shy, awkward, introvert and I've struggled with that too. Getting a loyal friend isn't easy. I don't really have a loyal friend. Not exactly but I have a friend who I am very thankful for. She wasn't easy to find.
Anyways, though, you will have to know how to work with people and, in my opinion having that connection is important. You don't have to tell people everything. Make sure they understand your boundaries. If they don't respect them, they're probably not good news for you. Watch how people act, learn who's bad news and who's okay. Some people put on this front to just mess things up. You don't need someone who knows everything about you. Just a few casual friends.
Maybe, instead of working on solitude, work on learning who to trust. Who's real, who's fake...
I'm sorry if this didn't help... I'm known at my school as a laid back person who'll give you the middle finger and move on if you do something stupid. I don't really trust people either but, I know how to pick who I'll even give a spec of trust. Through learning, I messed up here and there but, I'm glad I did. I wanted solitude at first too, but people told me otherwise (which I'm thankful for, to be honest).
@AngelWings123190
I agree, it's a really good thing if you can pin point real friends from fake ones. But i guess those real friends are the ones that are really close to you, know your strenghts and weaknesses but still love you anyway vice versa. And i guess they are also the ones who will stick by you through thick and thin. But i guess not every one is so lucky to have this kind of relationships or connections. I mean, only those who actually give a damn about you stick with you when something bad happens to you.. And only then you will know whether do these people actually exist in your life.
Do some activites that can distract you from negative feelings and can make you feel energized! :) That's how I dealt with depression/loneliness.
@Love4AllofU
I'm glad that you have found a good hobby to occupy your time and help you with your depression. I know i should say something positive and uplifting. But i have been struggling with loneliness all my life, and i just want to be honest, for me there is no substitute for close meaningful relationship with another human being. or even casual friendship.
On a more positive note (lol), most of the advice that i've seen people give on youtube is to use the time that you have to build up yourself-esteem. They never say, go ahead try and try again till you suceed (in making friends)! And i can't agree more. Especially when you achieve in something that you are good at etc, that helps a lot to build confidence. When you are happy with yourself, that positive energy will attract more positivity in your life. Good luck!
@LizLunatic
Solitude is something we all need to get used to because not everytime we will have people around us. I'm not a social person either and it isn't something to be ashamed of or feel sorry you are this way.
Do you have things you like doing? Maybe you wish to go out and do stuff. Go and do them. I feel bad when I stay in the house all the time too but I've learned to go outside whenever I can and need it, no matter if I'm alone. Some people like to be in the house, listen to music, read or write. Others want to energize their minds by going somewhere, seeing new things, experiecing new things. It's something you have to explore and see what makes you smile and feel good by yourself.
I know how hard it is when you give yourself to a person and they betray you. Some just see friendships in a very superficial way, others tend to involve themselves completely - like you seem to be. I am like that as well. Don't take that as a bad thing. You are a beautiful soul. Give yourself the opportunity to understand what you love no matter who is there with you. We all need to accept and understand ourselves before we let others in our lives.
If you wish to explore these over PMs, I'm around.
@LizLunatic - Hi. I noticed you also started a thread asking about inspiring books. I had a period in my life when I knew I was going to be more on my own than usual. I took that time to work through The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. It is one of my all-time favourite books if not top of the list. It is NOT only for artists. Anyone can enjoy it. It will not only give you reading to do, but also other tasks that will keep you busy and give you an opportunity to do some self-exploration. It made a huge difference in my life. I have the feeling that this will be perfect for you for now. But why don't you have a look at it (google it or something) and decide for yourself?
