I don't deserve an explanation
I'm so tired of being taken advantage of that I have secluded myself from almost everyone. I have a huge heart and love to help people, but as soon as I stop answering every 3 am phone call or stop lending money, or stop being their therapist, they stop being my friend. It hit me hardest with my best friend. We lived together, loved each other, finished each other's sentences, the whole nine yards. Then he just...stopped contacting me. We would make plans and he ditched me every single time. I would still forgive him. I told him that if he didn't want to be friends, just tell me and I will stop contacting him. That way it wouldn't be awkward for either of us. He assured me nothing was wrong. I got ditched four more times in a row after that and finally stopped trying. Now all of our friends (they're all mutual, because again we were basically one person, that's how close our friendship was) still hang out with him and me, but separately. I did everything for this kid. I have forgiven him more times than I can count. The only thing that I can think of is that I'm not as exciting anymore. I don't party every night. I just feel so alone. I have no true friends because they are also friends with him, and I know they talk about me when they are together. I just want to know WHY, but apparently I don't deserve an explanation. Why even bother with friends anymore? That's what I told myself. A year later and I'm more lonely than I ever was. I feel like I'm dead
@CrystalGeyser2016
It sounds like you're going through a very rough time in your life right now. It's a sad fact of life that generous people such as yourself often get taken advantage of for their kindness. But it's important to remember that you can't always be giving while other people take; that's not how healthy relationships work. You deserve to be happy so don't be sorry for putting yourself first sometimes.
It's heartbreaking to hear how your best friend treated you. I know that must have been a very important relationship for you and naturally it's very hard to have him not be there for you anymore, but you must remember that it's not your fault. You tried to reach out to him but it seems that he wasn't willing to co-operate with you to save your friendship. Unfortunately you can't read his mind as to why he stopped talking to you. It sounds like he didn't deal with this situation in the best way and maybe doesn't even realise how he has made you feel. People change and grow apart for a lot of different reasons. This seems to have happened with your other friends, who you mentioned don't even feel like true friends anymore, and you worry that they talk about you behind your back. It may help to tell them how you're feeling. However I would encourage you to foster relationships outside of this circle if that's possible because it doesn't sound like you feel you can really trust them anymore.
Sadly, sometimes we just don't get an explanation for many things in life, and it's quite exhausting to sit there wondering 'why.' Try not to let the dissipation of this relationship affect your self-esteem. It doesn't sound at all like it was you or something you did that caused this to happen. It was more likely just a case of people changing and moving on like I said. Although unfortunately it doesn't sound like your feelings were taken into account much at all.
From what you said it sounds like you are experiencing some depression right now. Persistent loneliness is a common sign of depression. I would strongly encourage you to talk to a doctor or a mental health professional about how you are feeling. Also check out the depression and loneliness self-help guides here on 7cups if you think they would help you.
Good luck and take care of yourself! 
@CrystalGeyser2016
Hey, Crystal. I know exactly how you feel...not getting an explanation of what happened or why someone leaves, is devastating. I really think that's the worst and best way to kill someone's self-esteem and worth when someone knowingly leaves you hanging. I had a similar experience with my ex and I can say, I still struggle with finding closure. However, through time and self-reflection I can honestly say that it was his loss, not mine. When someone takes advantage of you and then leaves without any sort of closure, it is a burden they will have to carry not you. I don't believe in karma but what I will say is, the past has a way of catching up to you in one form or another.
You did nothing to cause his abandonment, don't forget that. 
xx
