Nowhere I Belong
You know how when you grow up as a kid and you're not sure where you fit in? You're worried everyone is judging you and talking about you behind your back? I've always thought that as we grew up that I would outgrow that feeling. When I was a kid I told myself when I'm older I'll find somewhere I belong. I'll make better friends live a better life if I better myself. But in the world nowadays it doesn't seem that's going to happen.
I don't seem to fit in with people. I never have. It takes a toll on you. But I don't think I've ever found a place where I belong. I enjoy my solitude but sometimes people make me feel so lonely. Even with my own family. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere and as though my life supports that. I wish I could find a place where I felt like I belong and that I wasn't alone.
Not having a support system when struggling with life can make it so much harder. Having to face depression on your own is like using a toothbrush to wash the floor, eventually, you can get the floor clean but you are exhausted afterward. I know suffering in life is inevitable but I wish I had people in my life that could make it a bit easier to handle. I feel like if you have the right people in your life then your life can be better.
And hearing that saying "you have a roof over your head and food on the table, you should feel blessed." Life is difficult and I guess I'm tired of living life on my own. I see others with friends and their romantic partners. I wish I was able to have that in my life too. I don't even know how to find friends. I've tried online dating but guys are just. It's hard for me to open up to others.
I don't know. How do others able to have people in their lives? I have no problem with talking to people. I wish I was able to find somewhere I felt like I belong.
I read this and related to it strongly! I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with that lack of connection to others, and lack of a place to call "yours." It might not mean much, but it is definitely out there. There are always people willing to accept you foe who you are, and places with interests that can match your own. Sometimes that involves major life changes, and those aren't easy. Sometimes it also involves luck, and there is no surefire way to win that. I simply wanted to say that I felt very heard by your post, as I am struggling with a lack of connection to others as well. I am an extrovert going through a phase in my life in which it seems no matter how I reach out, it isn't getting me anywhere. I hope that you never feel bad for your struggle, as it's a real thing even if you have other needs in your life met.
I have the same issues but I decided years ago to say fuck it and get married! The grass is not greener! Honestly it’s shit either way. I find it easier to text or go on here when I want to talk.
This post I can relate too. My issue too is anytime I think life is working out, then bad luck hits me and just knocks me down. I feel cursed.