Struggle to trust
I'm currently going through alot dealing with a major depressive episode, struggles at work, home, in my relationship, and in my friendships, and I always feel isolated and alone, my friends tell me they care about me and are here for me, my girlfriend says the same, but some days it's harder to beileve than others, it's difficult to trust it and I'm not sure why.i know it's something I need to kick I just struggle to do so
Hi @bigtuna9496, it is good that you shared how you are feeling with us.
You clearly have a lot on your plate with your work and personal life, and that alone can make you feel burnt out and isolated. Dealing with depression on top of everything is really difficult and it can drain all of the energy to battle negative thoughts.
I am proud of you that you are writing about your feelings because that is one of the better ways to cope with isolation. Describing your current state can make a huge difference in your wellbeing, like letting off the pressure from inside of your body. I encourage you to keep doing it. There is nothing shameful about what you're feeling. I can clearly see that you are doing your best to survive each day and recover.
Depression makes us second-guessing people around us. And I understand that you are not convinced of their words because in the end, on some level we battle this illness alone in our heads. We spend so much time listening to the negative inner dialogue that we stop believing in anything which may even slightly disagree with it. This is not your fault - this is a symptom of depression. It is all subjective, but it is still valid.
And it is difficult to trust others when on some level you do not trust yourself. Depression does not make good friends from people in general. But it doesn't mean that you will never feel connected with your loved ones. The fact is that you are doing your best in order to recover. The fact is that you are reaching out to others and not giving in to your loneliness. The fact is that there are people around you who voice their support to you. The fact is I am glad to read that you have such people in your life. All of those can make a difference in your recovery.
Remember that you can always write to us, here in 7Cups. You can always write in forums or talk with us in the chatroom. Stay strong, lovely.
*hugs*
Thank you alot for saying all of that, you are right I do have a decent support system around me, I just need to learn to listen to it and sometimes I feel bad for needing the reassurance but I'm working on it as best I can. I really appreciate the support and I will definetly be writing on here again
@bigtuna9496, I am glad that you replied! I hope it made you feel better, even for a little while.
And it is great that you acknowledge your support system! But still, please be gentle with yourself and do not berate that you do not listen to people enough. Struggling with depression is really challenging and just like you said yourself - some days are harder than others. It is understandable that during your depressive episode your motivation and trust fluctuates according to your energy levels and moods. On bad days, it is handy to have a "toolkit", e.g. a list of things which you can do / people to contact / things to re-read or watch - which will help you remember your progress and renew your hopeful outlook.
Be kind to yourself. You are doing great and it is enough - it just takes time. See you around in forums!