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hi, i used to post a thread here before https://www.7cups.com/forum/RelationshipSupport_66/Friendships_256/isolatedmyselffrommyfriends_264225/1/#2825051 about what ive been going through and rn im not sure if it's been any better. you can read the context first if you want but tldr i impulsively shut myself away from my online friends due to my mental health and getting busy w school without any contact and explanation whatsoever.
today ive been planning to come back to them for a while, but im still hesitant if i should do so. going back on my socmed acc i saw their dms for and talking about me had started growing colder and they've been checking up less on me. im scared that they might possibly want to cut ties w me because they probably think im avoiding them or no longer care for them when that's not the case. i have to admit i do care for them and they mean a lot to me deeply but i feel bad for not being enough for them atm, i wished i couldve been a better friend for them. ive never had a grudge nor been a toxic friend at all but i just simply think im not on their level.
im realizing this is a fault on my part now and im doubting if they'll ever accept my apology bc this was not the first time i went away from my social medias for a concerning amt of time.
i believe im not in the right state to deserve friends cause my depression and lack of energy made it hard for me to put up a good impression around them nor give time for them. overtime, it only made me say fewer words, fewer feelings, and it started to feet like i was forcing an ideal personality on myself for everyone.
i feel like crying now since ive known them for years and i dont wanna be left as a bad memory to them but ive always doubted if i ever meant anything in our circle. i just thought to myself that it was better to sort this out myself and bottle it up so that i wouldnt bother them.
then again giving time for yourself is not a selfish thing and i felt like i really needed it, i just dont know if they can hold up with my excuses any longer :( .. i hope they can understand me and give another chance . if they turn me down or fail to understand my situation i think ill just give up. any advice is encouraged if worst case scenario i lose my friends later bc i might have a hard time processing that. im just rly scared right now, i did this to myself
@proactiveSea2942
It's never too late to refresh relationships with old friends. Since they may not have understood the reason for your self-care break, they probably were confused. Maybe if you just briefly explain that you had a lot on your plate and felt the need to concentrate on those things for a bit, that would be enough. I feel like most people would accept you back into the group no matter what, as long as they don't think you disappeared for reasons that had to do with them personally. It just feels like you'd start feeling better through connecting with them, and I hope that's how it works out. Take care!